Shmuli

You too can become digitigrade by balancing on the balls of your feet

Only thing you’re allowed to get off to these days is the Vitruvian Man. Or Woman*

Well I just think it would be nice for me to at least be able to tell them you’re in pull-ups

You know your cousin potty trained already and he’s only 25. Why can’t you be more like him?

I appreciate that ε>

Don’t come back unless you bring me grand-mutuals

You’re like a 3rd mutual twice removed to me so I assume you’d place me in the “chum for the sharks” quadrant right

Canele boobs lol

Short sleeves walking around at night we’re back forever

Big bro passed down the family pipe after he died 💔

Which is the one who was smoking crack in office

Yes!!!! Yippee!! Woohoo I love to frolick!

5:30 and the sun is out and it’s warm. I weep

Manspresso Shartini

This will make you shit a hole through your car seat on the drive home

Ooooo I loveeeee secrets ☺️

Are those the only two options

“Overtime check hittin tho”
- Dandy, 33

Nobody ever reads the alt text

The text even says “always together”

It’s one of them i just gotta get thru this week weeks

Maybe this spring DLs will get their wish with a taxes themed diaper

my politics are whatever this is

Leave a diss on the ground and the owner will come pick it up

Is it the mecha story you were talking about?

Cedar closet

Mummy I’m poo’ing me knickers

If you want

It’s an eth. English dropped it in favor of “th”. It’s the sound in The and They/Them

ðilf