Ian Thomas Malone

All the President's Dress Shoes When Trump isn't busy starting a new war each week, he's buying shoes for all the men in his administration. As Blink-182 once said, surprises let me know he cares.

I wrote about Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff's inability to understand enriched uranium, alongside Trump's obsession with affordable footwear, buying shoes for all his friends like every normal heterosexual man, plus an update on the Texas Senate race and a farewell to the puppy-killer.

Trump bombing Iran is the first time Lindsey Graham ever got a man to play out his fantasies without paying him.

I really wish Connecticut had the “rip kids out of their parents’ hands and forcibly transition them” policy when I was little.

MS NOW did too.

Gold medals in making women cover their drinks.

Worth noting that Jim Himes was one of ten Democrats to vote to censure Al Green for protesting during Trump’s address last year. Very odd 180 for him.

What a familiar concept for them.

Great to be here Heavenly Father, thank you.

Merrick Garland thought he was still waiting for Mitch to give him a confirmation hearing.

That woman posts a ton of anti-trans nonsense regurgitated from the early aughts. Very pathetic.

Insulting to crime lords.

Opening a new pack of Pokémon cards hoping for Greenlax.

The four genders.

No way they’d ever alter the deal after telling Jay Powell that Leia and the Wookie could stay with Lando.

Naked child soldiers, just what we needed.

People act like pronouns are confusing but will go out to eat at a place called Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.

They will miss his leadership!

So honored to be a left-handed transgender woman with a sister with celiac.

Congress can’t stop Arby’s from performing gender affirming care.

I wish I'd known how easy it was to transition when I was home sick from school. Would have made life much easier!

Pete Hegseth has gone too far.

The Fox News President, Basking in His Incompetence P*rn You're supposed to tell brainwashed viewers that woke is dead. You're not supposed to actually commit the war crimes.

I wrote about the Fanta Fuhrer's latest controversy and how his makeup-loving Secretary of WAR (deadname: Defense) forgot that all the bluster performed for Fox News is supposed to be for show. I don't think he can Franklin meme his way out of this one.

I thought Hegseth was against "the woke rules of engagement."

Why isn't this White House prouder of its war crimes?

He had to tell Sharon Osbourne that he knew she was “very close” with her late husband because he’s never experienced the same sensation with any of his spouses.

Not a good day to be Kim Davis.

“Vote blue no matter who, unless I’m uncomfortable by anything progressive” - Chuck Schumer’s vision for an inclusive Democratic Party

As a Sith Lord Passes, a New Hope Rises Dick Cheney has died. ITM offers some perspective on Cheney's complicated life, along with some analysis of Republicans' disastrous performance in last night's election.

I wrote about the death of Dick Cheney, and the Republicans' miserable performance in last night's election, where they lost (and lost badly).

This all could have been settled if Pope Leo had agreed to debate Alligator Auschwitz with Charlie Kirk.

Gavin Newsom, is that you?

I’m old enough to remember when we had a House of Representatives.