GrokMeAmadeus

"eating thin mints from the freezer" in the style of the teenage mutant ninja turtles logo

current status

An altered picture from the 90’s Godzilla video game reading “Go ahead and destroy the financial district Godzilla. Make the people happy.”

Everyone who got priced out of the Bay Area they grew up in by techbros to Iran rn:

Remind me to drop you some of my favorites, dude. My collection of mashups keeps growing.

I swear that 99% of the problems single people complain about would dissappear if they would just go tf outside.

“Wrestling is fake!”

Yeah? Then explain Co-Kane and his signature finisher the Cokeslam.

My ancient Gaul & Germanian ancestors just shaking their heads disapprovingly at this man, taking bites out of raw garlic, ginger, & onions like they were apples while sitting atop the bodies of a bunch of Roman Legionnaires they ambushed in the woods.

Folks, even we white Americans know how the order of Mexican salsa spiciness goes:

- Red (not spicy)

- Green (barely spicy)

- Deep red (smokey spicy)

- Brown with seeds visibly floating in it (Welcome to Hell & Welcome to Flavor simultaneously)

This is what imposter syndrome tries to make you feel like when you have a disability, btw.

He is five root beers deep. It’s been that kind of day.

I didn’t have you & Andy becoming friends on my Few Bright Points of Current Hell Times bingo card, but I’m glad y’all did.

It wasn’t me, it was your own hilarious self! But I am happy!

Way to go, @jococruise.bsky.social!

I should have known better after decades of following your work that you were not making up the most awful hobo comic to possibly exist.

I’m hard pressed to eat takoyaki anymore after finding out how smart octopus are. Little dudes are safe from me.

Trump only got into Wharton after his family pulled strings and got him an interview with an official who did a "special favor" to the family. A Wharton prof later said he was "the dumbest goddamn student" he ever had.

So, yes, his admission does say a lot about how smart he is.

Throw absolutely every news outlet in the trash that didn’t do the bare minimum of Googling for five minutes to see if that claim was even remotely true.

Speaking purely as a Californian, if we get bombed tomorrow by military drones, please honor my death by having the good sense to know that Trump did it.

a blue pickup truck is parked in front of a burger king drive thru ALT: a blue pickup truck is parked in front of a burger king drive thru

Me:

Parts of it haven’t aged well, but I feel “Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude” should get kudos for overall fun gameplay and the underlying message to guys of “THERE IS NO SECRET TO DATING, JUST GO OUT WITH A LOT OF DIFFERENT WOMEN, THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS OF WOMEN, STOP COMPLAINING YOU PUTZ!”

This goes for American comics, too. Take what you think they make, halve it, then halve it again. And if they aren't working for the Big Two, halve it again. And to be brutally honest, if they're writing and drawing graphic novels, halve it yet again.

As an IR professor, it's depressing that this is outperforming all others as the best theory of US foreign policy

We’re currently experiencing the sort of seasonal transition that ponies used to sing songs about.

Wow, I'm totally against [dead eyed nazi] but he really gave it to [dead eyed nazi] on [hope I live to see his eyes torn out by cats]'s podcast. You have* to hand it to [dead eyed nazi], when he's right** he's right***

It’s the sugary coffee equivalent of Sultan Homer’s ranch dressing hose.

This is the closest we’ll ever get to Futurama’s suicide booths except now it comes in liquid form.

I repeatedly tried to recreate one of Jason’s DIY haunted houses every Halloween to honor the scribe.

You should all buy the Foxtrot books. Throw money at this man.

God DAMN, Bill out here going for the throat. You love to see it.

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…