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Alan C. Robles

@hotmanila

Manila based journalist, essayist, foreign correspondent, humor columnist, former lecturer in Berlin on digital media, somewhat acerbic. Mordant Cassandra.

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21.11.2023
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Latest posts by Alan C. Robles @hotmanila

The second worst thing a small country can hear: "The US has declared war on us!"
The worst thing a small country can hear: "The US is coming to liberate us!"

08.03.2026 13:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Roman emperor Vespasian said about his taxes on urinals: pecunia non olet. Money doesn't stink. Same principle applies to garbage collection contracts in the Philippines.

02.02.2026 03:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Political parenting note: the unrepentant son of a bandit plunderer dictator is bound to be a bandit himself.

02.02.2026 03:07 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
How illegal firecrackers ignite a dangerous Philippine new year tradition Despite decades of regulation, warnings and police raids, Filipinos continue to welcome the new year with explosive celebrations.

my story today

30.12.2025 05:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Missing: isang kalbong duwag.
If found, please forward to the ICC

14.12.2025 12:15 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Who wants to write the refrain?

Kalbo na naman
o ang tulin tumakbo
Kalbo na naman
saan kaya nagtatago
Kalbo na naman
Ang pangalan ay Bato
Kalbo na naman
Dalhin na sa bilanggo

13.12.2025 02:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

What's Duturtle eating in prison? Bland Dutch food? Lechon? Humba?
Shit. He's eating shit. Just like his moronic followers.

11.12.2025 08:10 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

"puti"

08.12.2025 10:34 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

In this part of the century the superpower that all villains have, whether dirt cheap trolls, corrupt politicians or titan tech bros, is IMPUNITY. THey simply can't be held to account. Untouchable.

05.12.2025 05:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Now we're buying a new ref. A different brand. NOT a
@panasonic Who knows, it might turn out to be as problematic as @panasonic. Maybe. But at least we have experience to know we will NEVER EVER get a Panasonic. Thanks for nothing.

05.12.2025 04:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

In short, we wasted FIVE MONTHS all in all waiting for service center to act. Now all they can say is "sorry ha." I recall reading Japanese consumer appliance companies have high standards of service. I guess @panasonic doesn't export those standards to Third World countries.

05.12.2025 04:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

@panasonicph promised to send repairmen w the @panasonic
parts on December. Only thing is the guys came with the WRONG PARTS. It was clearly written in the report a display was needed. Seems nobody in service center read the report. And oops, the display? PHASED OUT in 2020.

05.12.2025 04:57 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

This year our 10y old @panasonicph @panasonic
ref started acting up. 2 techs came in July, wrote a report saying problem was the display and gaskets and said they'd return. They never did. FOUR MONTHS passed, then I wrote sarcastic Twitter posts w/c finally got their attention

05.12.2025 04:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Kadiring putin= na mahal ang mass murder, crimes against humanity at hamfist Duterte

04.12.2025 12:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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04.12.2025 12:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

BREAKING: DUTERTE NATAGPUAN SA KULUNGAN, WALANG KONSIYENSYA. Ayon sa examining physician, "sus, tagal na niyan"

02.12.2025 03:29 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

A bottle of Gatorade cost P39 just two or three months ago. Now it's P45. Must be the economic growth they're talking about.

30.11.2025 01:48 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Duterte orcs and trolls running in circles, gnashing their teeth and shrieking: "Why? Why stoopid justice system work?"

30.11.2025 01:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

What time is it?
It's time to DU30 years

30.11.2025 01:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Close

30.11.2025 00:21 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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My post on Twitter

12.11.2025 12:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

In 2024 Americans didn't go to the polling booth to vote a president, they went to the outhouse and excreted Donald Trump.

19.09.2025 22:59 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

What's happened to all the nepo baboys, este, babies, flaunting their plumage, taunting Filipinos with their business class travels? They still posting their non-earned riches and possessions? Have they flown away vanished? Scuttled down the rat holes?

17.09.2025 04:03 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Lifestyle check please

31.08.2025 02:23 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

After pretending for months not to know what "forthwith" means, Senate moves to dismiss the case at faster than the speed of lies.

08.08.2025 01:25 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

If Duterte dies abroad, his remains should be brought home for burial in a huge tomb - a Pogo Pyramid - along with his favorite pets, animals, trolls and servants like Derma Dementa, Krazy Krizette, Narc Lopez, Duwag na Bato and First Lady Bong Go.

09.07.2025 08:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

BREAKING FAKE NEWS BREAKING FAKE NEWS Narco Lolo is just skin and bones now. "He's down to PHP 1 billion a day na lang instead of PHP 2 billion" said his cash register.

07.07.2025 08:07 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

To that pompous of course white American who many years ago loftily called the Philippines a "damaged culture"...
I look at the US now and ask: oh really?

07.07.2025 06:21 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

During Duterte's regime @raissawriter and I were attacked by trolls and politicians who mocked journalism, freedom of expression and human rights. I predicted then that when their turn comes these chimpangoons would beg for their human rights and freedoms. Well guess what?

07.07.2025 06:19 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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24.05.2025 04:16 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0