red velvet cake was named after when they cut off this woman's head. that's why so many people are afraid of it
15.03.2026 01:32
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red velvet cake was named after when they cut off this woman's head. that's why so many people are afraid of it
amen! *momentarily remembers that toddler that got swooped up by the eagle before pushing the thought way down*
for this snowstorm, I will attempt to eat an entire food pyramid
Slush funds are bad but sound so refreshing
a firm "don't get cute with me" should immediately cease all colloquialisms and vocal fry from an AI assistant
anything above freezing is positively balmy
we can't go to places like chernobyl or fukushima anymore because we made them like the sun
the first known use of paranoid was ozzy
turns out, you don't have to throw your back out to use a heating pad. you can just sit or lay on it. it's fucking awesome
ah tradition of love
room full of mirrors?
The Nobel Peace Prize Ultimate Fighting Championship
the people who ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ want to win the nobel peace prize go for the jugular right away
if you're 47 no one gives a fuck. get a real age. like 42 or 56
we haven't forgotten about you scientology. as soon as we fix all this other stuff we're comin for you
next year, the kennedy center will honor pantera
they are a revolting couple and you know who I'm talking about
I made the 30 under 30 list (30 people who have less than $30)
Introduce yourself with 5 animals youโve seen in the wild
Florida Panther
Fisher
Manatee
Glass Lizard
Luna Moth
it's Shah-day.
-Sade a lot probably
sorry man
Mary Shelley's Guillermo del Toro
I hope I don't get hit by a self-aware car
why do my parents drive on a parkway but fuck in the driveway
everybody here tonight must boogie. and let me tell you you are no exception to the rule
they will probably bring back powdered wigs
trump is not the third antichrist nostradamus was talking about. that was a few antichrists ago. he is a new type of antichrist that nostradamus didn't know about
omg. I need a hot and hard
a fart is an opportunity to go for distance or impact. for distance, ease up on the throttle for nice, uniform deflation. for impact, give a push at the right time for a firm blast. just don't rip too hard and remember to have fun
no, t'was the spaceman, who just passed away