Chris

Show me your Uber driver.

Foodstuffs that create a mess despite how much you try to stop them:

Marmite
Caster sugar
Yoghurt
Grated cheese
Small children

Category is… Materia Girl

Never thought I’d have to block someone on Strava of all places but here we are 😂

How DARE they not have an out of office on

Whilst I’m a fan of this genre of comedy - this needs to be put in a tiger bag and incinerated

Sadly being stuck at that stage is incredibly tiresome

What if your baby was being a knob though? 🤷‍♂️

Might be a consequence of ever more apparent neurospiciness but…

what is increasingly frustrating is people correcting or shooting something down before you’ve actually had a chance to articulate yourself properly.

Sometimes the opinion of someone who doesn’t think the way you do is valid y’know?

If you know you know

Praying for whoever is on to the phone to this girl on the train.

She hasn’t stopped talking about the same thing without a SINGLE second of a pause in about 45 minutes.

Hahaha this was my original post but thought it was too niche 😂

When your air fryer asks you out on a date but you say you’re busy

Took me way too long to get this

Added bonus to binging The Night Agent

Half expect when the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse finally arrive, one of them will be riding a f*cking e-bike

Pharmabrology

I think it works on both levels

Look… I don’t make the rules OK?

I don’t care if it’s a legit word, I’m not accepting ”addicting” as an alternative to ”addictive”.

It just sounds made up 🤷‍♂️

For someone who has had vitiligo since his early teens this is a game changer

Actually for me this is the only one that isn’t a problem. I could just have the forethought to open and load them before going in but where’s the fun in that?

Nope not for any of the offending ones 😫

Possibly the most first world problem you’ll hear all day but…

Having to use an app for a loyalty card when there is zero reception or WiFi instore is really bloody annoying

Tiramisu is the new pistachio cream and I’m here for it

Are you implying I’m Jeremy Beadle?

I would say a strong 8/10. Depends how much of a tiramisu connoisseur you are I guess

May have eaten this tiramisu in one sitting. May now be in a sugar coma.