Michelle

The occasional loneliness I feel being single doesn’t compare to the pure bliss of never having to share my chocolate or bacon.

The President of the United States and the dumbest motherfucker on Earth should be two different people.

We are only fighting in Iran because the Tangerine Tyrant is bound and determined to bury the Epstein scandal.

From @pizzacakecomic.bsky.social

From @pizzacakecomic.bsky.social

*Yawns, while roaring like a dinosaur*
*Everyone in the church looks at me*
*Waves with T-rex arms*

🚨 CNN has uncovered unredacted videos inside the DOJ’s Epstein files. In one a girl states she is 15 years old. The FBI documents describe Trump sexually assaulting a minor introduced by Epstein.
From: @allenanalysis.bsky.social

“Let me teach you how little girls are supposed to be.” — The quote the DOJ "forgot" to release.

Replacing Taliban with Taliban was Trump's deal too.
He left an intentional disaster for Biden and then blasted him for sticking to the schedule he'd negotiated.

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf," he said. "I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal." - George Bush, 2003

Among the most revolting things I've ever seen in my life...so far.

Not only admitting but laughing about a war crime.

Fireman: You need to get out of here [dodges falling support beam] right now!
Me: [staring at toaster waiting for pop tart] come on come on

There’s aggressive driving and then there’s a woman who is late for her Mani/Pedi appointment.

Trump did it in just ten days...

Trump, “We’ll liberate the oppressed Iranians….by killing them all.” The Trump administration is a cancer.

My biggest fear is my killer saying some really funny shit while I'm trying to play dead.

We have our priorities so screwed up...

Trump’s private army.
What other historical figures have had private armies?

Look, I got a medal!

[gets invited to a party where kids are welcome]
Me, to my baby goat: "This is your moment to shine!"

He’s just an all-around terrible person.

I hate that the president of the United States currently WOULD actually do this, and then his base would sit there and tell me “It’s important that the commander in chief has a good shot you guys! You just have TDS!”🤪

Healthcare? Naw...let's go bomb people and make billionaires richer.

The American political cycle of the past 3 decades...

In Victorian slang, a "Muffin Walloper" was an unmarried woman who liked meeting up with her friends to gossip over tea & cakes. I feel that one in my soul.

Ugh! My body is needy! "Give me water." I need vitamins." How about you just shut TF up and eat these tacos I bought you.

If anyone were to look at my bathroom, they’d assume some kind of crime scene took place. But no, just me getting ready.

These days, with this administration, pretty much everything is WTF.

Heard this today: "This is YOUR life and you're letting people make you unhappy?"
And I felt that in my soul.

U.S. Tomahawk Hit Naval Base Beside Iranian School, Video Shows

U.S. Tomahawk Hit Naval Base Beside Iranian School, Video Shows www.nytimes.com/2026/03/08/w...