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Dustin

@dustinevitable

Classically Trained Birdbrain I can run backwards real fast

32
Followers 39
Following 20
Posts 23.01.2025
Joined
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Latest posts by Dustin @dustinevitable

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Sick day. My nurse is asleep on the job. #cats

24.02.2025 21:05 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.

13.01.2025 01:15 👍 17389 🔁 3881 💬 102 📌 55

Them: Find a way to resist by using your own strengths!

Me: How can I bring down morale by predicting the worst possible outcomes?

08.02.2025 18:51 👍 28 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
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Why do people serving in table tennis matches always start the serve looking like this?

07.02.2025 04:21 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

If you’ve accidentally seen a Ford commercial you have

06.02.2025 18:08 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

WOW

04.02.2025 03:33 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 2 📌 0

Dermatologist: Don’t worry, that’s just a scrabulous cranklorn rotterburt dermafibroma, and it’s completely harmless.

But we can lance it off with a scalpel if it makes you feel like a disgusting monster.

Me: Thanks?

03.02.2025 23:58 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

60s band name: The Dogs
70s: Sturm Und Dragon
80s: Roger and the Gang
90s: Squee
00s: Disease Kids
10s: Weasel Farm
20s: edward jockey (5 people)

01.02.2025 08:02 👍 248 🔁 27 💬 6 📌 1

Anyone wanna come over and burst into tears with me this weekend?

01.02.2025 05:11 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Baba No Currency

01.02.2025 05:11 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Cul de sac? In this economy?!

31.01.2025 19:40 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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30.01.2025 22:15 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Apparently I am the only American human who did not eat buttered noodles as a child, also noodle with just butter sounds weird, I like noodles and I like butter but come on you need more than just those two things

30.01.2025 01:14 👍 6778 🔁 204 💬 2701 📌 220
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This guy has the hardest life

#cats #cat

30.01.2025 13:48 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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30.01.2025 04:56 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

While you’re going back in time I have a few favors to ask if you wouldn’t mind 👀

28.01.2025 23:18 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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Watching Slow Horses and wondering if any other tv show character has had as much time devoted to describing how badly they stink #slowhorses

28.01.2025 03:14 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Me seeing ads for the American version of Traitors after watching the UK one:

27.01.2025 21:28 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Bad Lieutenant: Porking All New Orleans

27.01.2025 00:41 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Watching 2000’s “Quills”:

Marquis De Sade: How do you suppose I write it? I have neither ink nor paper to pen it!

Madeline: You could whisper it through the walls of your cell

MDS: “For Sale: Maiden’s shoes, never c*mmed on”

26.01.2025 16:08 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Rafe Mafe

25.01.2025 20:44 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Did “trying to sleep” really need a 2025 clickbait rebrand? Can’t wait to learn “8 simple hacks for FOODMAXXING including hot new tips like ‘chewing’”

25.01.2025 04:11 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

And if the Vengabus
Crashes into us

24.01.2025 02:37 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Reese’s feces

23.01.2025 23:31 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.

23.01.2025 00:00 👍 16346 🔁 2545 💬 329 📌 189

Billy Strings? What’s next, Tommy Drums?

23.01.2025 03:00 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0