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An escalator can never break down, it can only become stairs… sorry for the convenience
- Mitch Hedberg

Show the frat bro picture, not the old folks.

The bros bought into TPUSA fantasies of women chained to the bed while the bros did whatever they wanted because they felt sad and inferior after being ignored or hounded by their shrew fathers.

"Why don't Scuba Divers get good Grades at School?"
"Because they are always below C Level."

"What do you call an Alligator in a Vest?"
"An Investigator."

Tried to get my real ID. I had my license, my SS card and my birth certificate.

I was not allowed to get my real ID because my birth name is different than my married name. Now I have to go dig up a marriage certificate. You know who wouldn’t have to do this? A man.

Never change your last name.

"Why did the Lifeguards kick the elephants off the Beach?"
"They kept dropping their trunks."

When I wrote "sometimes" I meant always. I always give boys more attention because I am terrified of a future worse than present day.

I'm a 1st year HS librarian with 20 years public library service as a Teen Librarian. It's my job to bring energy to kindness with my daily interactions. I'm doing my best to create a safe society and sometimes (with bias in agreement to what you're saying) give a little more attention to young men.

Red states always find the budget when it’s to silence voices…

What are women taught except for how to defend ourselves? Making excuses for bad behavior is a waste of our energy and fixing men shouldn't be our job. It's most men in all areas of the world, so I doubt it's an education problem. Let's start by actually holding them accountable.

a man wearing glasses is holding a shotgun in front of a blue wall ALT: a man wearing glasses is holding a shotgun in front of a blue wall

I accused my wife of putting glue all over my rifles.
She denies it; but, I'm sticking to my guns.

They don't need educated. They need punished.

Or, it can follow Pete Buttigieg’s suggestion and increase SCOTUS to 15; five chosen by Democrats, five by Republicans and those ten justices choose the last five.

There was a sign at the Drug Rehab Clinic that said: "Keep Off The Grass."

The Queen of The Nile was said to always show a bit of leg . . . but Nevertiti.

How is a golf ball different from a Tesla?
I can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

I rang gamblers anonymous and the guy answered saying ten to one you can't guess who this is.

Never go bedroom shopping while drunk.
It can lead to one nightstand.

"Why is it so cheap to throw a Party at a Haunted House?"
"Because the ghosts bring all the 'Boos'."

"Of all the inventions of the past one hundred years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable."

"What do you call a Royal Marine who can read and write?"
"Sir."

"My friend asked why I would not tell him my Military Rank."
"I told him it was Private."

"What do you call a soldier who never made it past boot camp?"
"A Police Officer."

"A fine is a tax for doing wrong . . . a tax is a fine for doing well."

"I don't approve of political jokes . . . I've seen too many of them get elected."

"What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?"
"The letter F."