steph

need to find edward and frederick bopp (inventors of vertical blinds) to let them know they are the biggest fucking idiots to have ever lived

@ target clothing manufacturers have u ever seen a woman before

i hate a “did you know you’re supposed to open a banana from the bottom” fucker shut the fuck up

this reminded me that fur baby should also be on the list

my personal hell involves a conversation with someone who uses the following words: kiddos, momma (in a “you go momma!” kind of way), HUBBY, my mini, crotch gremlins

war is over

why does every taco bell new menu item reveal look like service at a texas megachurch

ok back to being a cody simpson fangirl

whenever someone is scared of a tiny bit of mold in their shower i just know they have lived the most comfortable life

my shampoo and conditioner are not synced up. i am miserable.

the year is 2061. your millennial coworker is a year away from retirement. they just referred to the covid-19 pandemic as “the panini.”

“can i use my laptop so i can google what 5’6 is in inches”

what

the urge to call everyone princess but only if i think they would hate being called princess

cunty screamo is my favorite genre, love u scene queen!

good morning and go birds

i can’t wait to move and not give my university my updated address. how dare you ask me for donations before i’ve paid off my loans.

dear kyle, i hope you are well. can you check your neighbors safe place?

joining a sports league as an adult is the best thing i’ve ever done, it’s just work out together and then get food and drinks together

needed cleanser that was in a locked case at target and the employee said i guess the girl with the key went on break and then she walked away

is the dental registry like insurance? or do you have to subscribe to your dentist? i’ve never heard of this

dentist said $200 and i said no and they said ok fine $100. in case anyone needed a reminder about the healthcare industry and the legitimacy of its prices!

walking into the dentist office rn diet coke in hand

i’m sure this has been done. also too lazy to find if someone has already done this.

too lazy to edit but imagine this says “i can excuse nazi salutes but i draw the line at lying about your path of exile account”

“how was your day” i cried when my phone disconnected from carplay

no because this puts your hands at risk of getting dirtier when you are in the process of making food!!! if your intention is to clean your hands you need to do it right

two towels. one for drying your hands, one for wiping the counter. i want to emphasize that the first is for drying hands, not cleaning them. you must rinse or wash your hands in the sink before using it. also, after wiping the counter, you have touched a dirty towel so you must wash your hands.

this is fine as long as you are immediately removing the towel to be washed and not using it for hands at all after wiping the counter