Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Kristi Noem.
05.03.2026 19:11
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Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Kristi Noem.
The Evil Dead franchise, especially Evil Dead 2 and 3 are like chicken soup. Whenever I'm sick or the chips are down, I can count on them to make me feel better.
Cancer can suck on this.
Iran? You haven’t even finished Venezuela.
How can you have any Iran if you don’t finish your Venezuela!
Man, this one splits the arrow.
SOTU update:
In the immortal words of Popeye, "That's all I can stands... I can't stands no more!"
Oh.... My favorite book of his. Read it many times. So many great quotes.
“Anytime anything of real dignity appears in this country, it’s torn to shreds and thrown to the mob.”
— Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
The crime of not cleaning her room until it was spotless enough.
This is the kind of thing that will give waterboarding a bad reputation.
Great piece in PIC today. A sage warning to fortify the love shack or meditation pod while there's still time.
It depends on the day I guess. Both are spot-on and worthy to deploy as needed. LBFT has wider coverage and a smoother acronym.
Thrilled to have my humor piece on data breaches published by @pointsincase!
Now available publicly (and probably on the dark web too). 🔓💻
I’ve just been notified that my private, sensitive humor piece about data breaches has been made publicly available on the internet.
I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!
I'm Donald Trump and I'll be making up numbers for the next hour or so. Enjoy the show! And if you like these numbers, I'm available to make some up for you personally at your wedding, Bar Mitzvah, graduation, birthday... whatever. See Leavitt on the way out.
Don’t you think it would just be easier to watch this than the actual movie? Trust me, these are the best parts, the rest is just extra.
Saint Paul schools will be closed Tuesday and Wednesday to prepare for optional online learning.
I’ve seen schools close for snow, for pandemic, for natural disaster. I’ve never seen schools close because of threat from our own government.
When Boston's get spooked, it's not hard to tell.
Until this vote is taken, I will be on the edge of my (shower) seat.
“The House is scheduled to vote next week on GOP legislation to codify Trump’s push for more powerful showerheads.”—The Week
I’m on the edge of my shower seat.
Timeline cleanse: This is my furnace.
Venezuela
New survival show idea: Donald Trump has to figure out what groceries are, then buy some, and prepare all his own food for a month.
Photo of the bottom half of a woman wearing embroidered pink pajama pants that are skin-tight and have ugly raised shapes all over them include two giant raised cat heads on the thigh area.
Thanks for the upcoming night terrors, AI clothing designers.
Judging from the way the O is wearing the Santa hat [correctly], the Turkish manufacturer designed an orgasm Christmas towel.
Please, can someone convince Trump to wear his FIFA necklace tonight at his speech?
“You’re not seriously going to take me outside are you?”
As we enter the final stretch of Christmas shopping, please remember to observe the 2 doll limit.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-...
“But the second he encounters someone with spine, someone with moral clarity, someone unmoved by bluster, he folds. He wilts. He sits there like a dog brought instantly to heel, panting for approval from the very man he swore he would obliterate.”
open.substack.com/pub/jojofrom...
