Flumenequus

This grumpy little fuck learned how to tuck herself into the covers. I love her so much ❤️

Went to my first poly speed dating event today! Waaaaaaayyyyy to many cis het couples looking for unicorns. That was so fucked. Had fun otherwise at least 😅

I’m still undergoing therapy and treatments, but I’m getting better. I will never let my mental health hurt someone again. Nobody deserves that. I’m gonna keep fighting to get better. I just wanna be happy and I want others to be happy with me.

It took 15 rounds of ect, 6 rounds of ketamine, 2 inpatient stays, iop, and a ton of therapy to finally realize, my ex was right. I’m a horrible person. She didn’t deserve anything she went through. How I treated her and her partners was truly unforgivable. I wish I could change everything #fuckbpd

Finished my first week of iop, 7 more to go!

Signed my second document today saying I can’t return to work until my mental health is better. It’s so hard not to feel like I’ve failed as both a person and a nurse. I really hope this is the worst of it and things get better eventually. 😕

pots symptoms be like
hey i heard you were trying to do stuff today
what if i made you feel miserable while you do so

I hate that feeling of wanting to help someone you used to care about, knowing you could help them, but knowing they probably still want nothing to do with you. I’m so sorry, I wish things were different. You don’t deserve any of this. You deserve to be able to be happy

For my fellow US citizens, especially those amongst more vulnerable groups, it's prolly a good time to exercise your 2nd amendment rights. Even if you hate that sort of thing.

Get a firearm, learn how to use it.

If only as a precaution.

it’s going to be so much fun when he dies

I have so much fear for my future. The reality of everything is setting in today and I just don’t know what to do. 😣

TikTok is back! At least right this second 😅😁

I am in the same mindset of my old horse Lumizar. I’m gonna leave the barn and go out in the snow for a bit because I have too. The second I am able, I am gonna gallop as fast as I can back to my home and not leave the warmth for the rest of the day!

a horse is like a dog and a motorcycle at the same time

It’s probably been like 9 months since I went dancing. Fuck, I missed it! I’m so glad I got to spend the night out last night 😁😊 Also, no drama! Thank fuck!

So, the earliest I’ll be back to work is now march… Hopefully this new iop is worth it in someway 🥺

I hate to say it, I miss work. I know I’m on a mental health leave until things are fully better, but I miss taking care of people. I truly miss being the person who is there to help my patients heal and to work towards getting out of the icu. Hopefully in a month or two I’ll be back. 😢

Be kind 💙

I think I finally had a breakthrough with this ketamine session. This is the best my mood has been in in years. Hopefully this is the new norm 😊

We really don’t talk enough about how various traumas influence how you show up at work and your career. It 100% has an impact on both at both the daily and career-long level.

Telling my thoughts that I'm not locked in here with THEM, they're locked in here with ME. But they didn't believe me so now I'm thinking about a Teletubby/ninja turtle vore orgy and now nobody is happy. My thoughts are gonna concede any second.

Survived another session of ketamine!

I understand why horses like apples so much. Them shits crumchy.

a horse is laying on the ground in a field Alt: A black horse rolling over in the field

Magnesium pills working. Brain not working

I’m a horse *rolls in dirt*

6th ketamine session today, wish me luck! 🍀

executioner: do you have any last words before you are hung?

me: actually here it would be hanged

executioner, flipping lever: quit being so pendantic