Macaulay Sulkin'

BOX OF WINE headline on a fox 9 YouTube video about seniors testifying at the legislature to legalize happy hour at nursing homes

Support our seniors

Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends

Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends https://theonion.com/crab-just-happy-to-be-in-bucket-with-all-his-friends/

the most insulting thing here is that patton is clearly referring to butt rock but calls it screamo

do you think they'll ever update the olympic theme? i think it would be cool if they made it entombment of a machine by job for a cowboy

Waiting for my new e-bike to be delivered. I feel like on days when I work, my fun packages get delivered at 8am so they can torture me all day. On days I don't work, my fun packages get delivered at 9pm so they can torture me all day.

started writing some solo songs for the first time in more than a year. feels good to try again.

Two WILBUR EPs coming in 2026! Everything is recorded and being mixed now! Release dates of 4/20 and 7/10, release shows TBA. Get ready for some heavy as fuck stoner metal.

Well, I haven't been here much in about 8 months. I left a pretty bad twelve-year long relationship, moved to a new city, dealt with some family health issues. Life is slowly evening out. I will get back on the horse here, but if I didn't respond to your message, sorry, I was busy.

More like sleep broken

“Had to”

It says a lot about me how many times I’ve had to explain End of a Year/Self Defense Family to various friend groups.

I dropped my phone in a hot tub last night and I didn’t even turn it off just grabbed it real quick and it works fine.

Watched one of those trailers for bring her back where they interview people in the theater and one dude is wearing an mj lenderman shirt

I spent my college years doing party drugs in the dubstep heyday and after getting old I now know the truth, which is that the best edm music is when it’s just post rock but with synthesizers

Maybe you should listen to less job for a cowboy and start filling out more job applications for cowboys

What’s crazy is I’ve dated two people with parents in prison so we are like each others’ opposites

Me to a coworker today: “I am thirty-four years old. I am basically dead.”

Wolf Blitzer? I hardly know ‘er

To a crazy mf like me, they’re just normal jean

They should make a thing where you can just be in a coma for a while

This ain’t no disco. Ain’t no country club either

- me talking to the strung out burglar who just broke into my house moments before he stabs me

How to stop existing

the masculine urge to die violently fighting in battle

From The Onion: Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society

theonion.com/historians-q...

I’ve been close friends with this guy for like a year and he is well aware I play in a metal band and he has apparently literally never listened to us until today when he learned our bassist is a super hot dude. I guess these days you gotta use everything you got to get them streams

So last night at the gym I made fun of a sov cit guy and told another guy that if he’s going to school to be a cop he is just in training to be the next wave of brown shirts so anyway I think I need a new gym

Love when a song takes like seven minutes to get to the good part (genuine)

Gonna get this motherfucker lifting his skinny fists like antennas to heaven

There’s this guy in my office who exclusively listens to classical music because he “doesn’t like music with words” and I’m gonna try to trick him into liking post rock

Can someone please tell me if camo pants are cool again I really can’t tell and I need to know for science