Lily 🏳️‍⚧️

The lioness does not concern herself with her lactose intolerance. She simply eats an ice-cream cone and proceed to regret decisions for the next several hours

Happy fucking new year's

At a hockey game... children are screaming '6 7'.... might be throwing them onto the ice soon....

Ive been given a gift of a gallon "70" proof homemade cider. This shit easily 90. Im not mad. I was told the more I drink the less my neighbor's 18 year old kid can drink.. sorry kid you ain't getting shit lmao

Most normal Skyrim moment

Man fuck cancer. In people and animals alike

Apparently according to the customers at work I pass as a trans man.... close enough I guess? maybe?

Gravity is a bitch

Vacation is great bc I can devour a fried chicken sandwhich while sipping a cocktail. Then when im getting ready to leave the bar i can buy a thing of Nachos to go and chug a beer, and no one will stop me or judge me

Quality coping methods

Yeah so it turns out fucking everybody called out

Having the worst shift scheduled but with the most elite coworkers brings me so much joy. It will be miserable but I know shit will get done so I don't need to worry about the next day

Be gay, do crime. Happy pride bitches

Anyone got a Marlboro red short i can bum

Benefits of changing my name is now i can actually find these things with my name on it

Ain't nothing like camping and getting drunk by the fire with the chillest mfs on the planet

Can people please give more than 20 minutes notice before they need to leave work early so coverage can be found. 2 people is not enough to run a large Pet Store for 3 hours and close it

I'll be honest, didn't expect the Oblivion remaster to be real. So fucking happy it is, im installing that shit rn

Well I can confidently say driving with my mother to the hospital because my grandmother fell and probably broke her arm was not the plan for this evening.
As far as we know now she is relatively ok. Getting tests done now

If you ain't watching @bigukena.standingintheodds.com in the taco bell drive thru, are you really living?

A glass of mead, a family sized pack of oreos, a cigarette, and a ds with an action replay. Life is good rn

I love miku

WHY WHY WHY WHY THE FUCK DO SO MANY CHILDREN GO TO CONVENTIONS COSPLAYING CHARACTERS FROM VERY 18+ SHOWS?!
YOU ARE 12 WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS CHARACTERS FROM HAZBIN HOTEL

How did I end up in a Spencer's with my dad... and why did he ask me if I needed a mug with titties on it? I mean I do but I'm not telling HIM that

Are they really a homie if they don't buy you a white monster from the gas station everytime you hang out?

"Nothing is better than sex"
Yeah ok have you ever eaten an entire loaf of cheesey garlic bread in one sitting by yourself? Nothing better than that