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Alty Homo

@altyhomo

πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ | NSFW | πŸ”ž πŸ“PDX

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13.09.2024
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Latest posts by Alty Homo @altyhomo

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

1st Course:
Radish and Beet Carpaccio with Pickled Cucumber Sorbet and Cilantro Beet Vinaigrette

2nd Course:
Rosemary, Thyme, and Tamarind Filet Mignon with Wasabi Microgreens
Dual Terrior Pommes PurΓ©e
Vin Rouge Reduction
Blanched Broccolini
PavΓ© cut Heritage Carrots

15.02.2026 07:11 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Date night dinner!

Steamed Manila clams from Washington cooked PNW style.
Some VERY toasted bread.
Willamette Valley Vineyards White Pinot Noir.

21.01.2026 03:36 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I do more than post dick pics sometimes.

02.01.2026 21:00 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Meme showing statue of Bill Clinton in Kosovo next to a banner of the American flag. Text is superimposed above saying, "be the American that Kosovo think you are"

Meme showing statue of Bill Clinton in Kosovo next to a banner of the American flag. Text is superimposed above saying, "be the American that Kosovo think you are"

i can't describe for you the weirdness of visiting one of the (relatively few) parts of the world that has a high background level of regard and gratitude for the U.S.A. It feels like stepping into a mirror universe.

02.01.2026 19:49 πŸ‘ 1805 πŸ” 120 πŸ’¬ 48 πŸ“Œ 14

Me to a shitty router I finally figured out was causing me network issues at home for the past month:

Did I ask you to act as a DHCP server? No, I did not ask you to act as a DHCP server.

So why are you answering DHCP requests and assigning IP addresses even though your settings told you not to?

01.01.2026 12:38 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Hot! I’d like that. 😊😈

01.01.2026 04:47 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

You’re really hot! There’s a lot of good things to observe about you. 😊😈πŸ₯΅

01.01.2026 04:13 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I think tots is my fav of you. Plus the one of your tattoo.

01.01.2026 03:46 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

My Sniffies account got suspended on New Years Eve

Pray for me!

01.01.2026 03:18 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Which orgy are you thinking? πŸ‘€

31.12.2025 07:43 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

πŸ‘€

31.12.2025 07:41 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I might not know my one favorite picture, but I do know my favorite video of me from 2025.

30.12.2025 06:44 πŸ‘ 53 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
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It’s my favorite thing!

30.12.2025 19:48 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

It’s my favorite. 🀩 😍 I just need more excuses to bring the stuff out, even for dinner parties not fondue related. There’s stuff I bought I still haven’t used yet lol.

31.12.2025 02:22 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Usually two or three weekends after Valentine’s Day. It’s a nice wrap up to the. Trying to find a recorder to do one in December or November.

31.12.2025 01:57 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

β€œPost your favorite nude of 2025. You can only pick one.”

Sorry, lol. My indecision paralysis prevents this.

I will post 4 and you can tell me which is your favorite.

30.12.2025 04:33 πŸ‘ 41 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 2
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I think my favorite video of 2025 is this one with my husband and one of our friends.

I thought I married a bottom!

30.12.2025 13:24 πŸ‘ 39 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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It’s my favorite thing!

30.12.2025 19:48 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I have a heavy West Coast bias. I lived up and down the East Coast enough that I don’t want to go back.

30.12.2025 19:45 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1
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I think my favorite video of 2025 is this one with my husband and one of our friends.

I thought I married a bottom!

30.12.2025 13:24 πŸ‘ 39 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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πŸ†πŸ‘

02.06.2025 01:54 πŸ‘ 42 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

I might not know my one favorite picture, but I do know my favorite video of me from 2025.

30.12.2025 06:44 πŸ‘ 53 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
Shane Hollander from the tv show, Heated Rivalry, dressed in his hockey uniform with the caption β€œsteal his look”.

Shane Hollander from the tv show, Heated Rivalry, dressed in his hockey uniform with the caption β€œsteal his look”.

A helmet, a hockey jersey, ice skates, a cock cage, and a β€œBoston raiders” butt plug. All with prices above them.

A helmet, a hockey jersey, ice skates, a cock cage, and a β€œBoston raiders” butt plug. All with prices above them.

Shane Hollander: steal his look

30.12.2025 02:06 πŸ‘ 100 πŸ” 17 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 5

If chemtrails were real I would vote to spray the entire East Coast from Miami to NYC with Klonopin every morning until they figure out how to just calm down.

30.12.2025 05:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I was born in the west but spent 15 years living up and down the East Coast from Atlanta to MD to PA to Toronto.

No thanks! Not for me! They can keep it!

Currently live in the PDX area on the WA side and you’d have to hold my cats hostage before I would move anywhere else.

30.12.2025 05:06 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

I can guarantee that your top’s dick is cleaner than his floor. Yes, even that one.

Socks stay on.

30.12.2025 04:44 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

β€œPost your favorite nude of 2025. You can only pick one.”

Sorry, lol. My indecision paralysis prevents this.

I will post 4 and you can tell me which is your favorite.

30.12.2025 04:33 πŸ‘ 41 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 2
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And because of that, you all get this dick pic of me in the airplane bathroom after many drinks.

11.12.2025 19:15 πŸ‘ 37 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0

They still have another beverage service coming through but by my count, being nice, giving them something interesting but inexpensive put me out 12 dollars.

So far me and my husband have drank about $120 worth of alcohol?

And we’re not begging. They come by. Ask if I want something. Drop it off.

11.12.2025 19:13 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I’m sitting in main cabin where I’m supposed to pay for these amenities and these flight attendants are gassing me up. Every time they walk by they drop off another 80 proof Old fashioned.

11.12.2025 19:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0