Chy

It would make personal grooming much easier

Living with my dad right now. Sleeping in his couch. So I've been wearing clothes to sleep and I don't see how people do it all the time. I keep waking up with wedgies and other issues

Over medium hard?

Should we try turning America off and back on again and see if it starts working?

Turn off and back on again see if it fixes the problem

Why?

Happy international women's day.

Children of the corn dog

Leaving that toilet seat down

ALT:

I relate to this scene so well right now.

Breakfast buffets are dangerous

Where do I sign up?

a close up of jerry from tom and jerry looking at the camera ALT: a close up of jerry from tom and jerry looking at the camera

Having a food baby.

a close up of a woman 's feet with the words barbie the movie written below them ALT: a close up of a woman 's feet with the words barbie the movie written below them

Thinking about becoming self employed.

a person is holding a massage gun in their hand and using it on their arm . ALT: a person is holding a massage gun in their hand and using it on their arm .

Plans for the next several hours

Nope.

Yeah life is such a sadist

I'm sure someone out there will pay. People pay for the weirdest stuff

I mean, being by a pool with your tits out could be your job if you wanted

And then he was broke

Reminds me of a particularly bad dating experience

So not a fun gift then?

two men in suits and sunglasses are standing next to each other holding presents . ALT: two men in suits and sunglasses are standing next to each other holding presents .

Is that anything like.

My therapist said he recommends avoiding any relationships with other humans right now to give me time to learn to love myself. What I heard was that I need to find myself a demon or alien lover. So I'm now taking applications.

Why, when I read the line "The pen Is mightier than the sword," did it register in my brain as "The penis mightier than the sword"? Where's my head today?