A Wonderful Wooden Reason

Probably safe to say they haven't tread JG Ballard's "The Reptile Enclosure."

George Orwell could have seen Benny Hill on TV but that doesn't sound so improbable.

Never got the Broons but I had the Illustrated Treasure Island Watkins did.

But is your answer F---- or S--------?

Stop admiring the cover and put the record on!

Also known as "savoury ducks" in Yorkshire.

I don't think I've read any of his books since Redback came out. Where should I restart?

It's the Inhuman Centipede(-o).

ACTUALLY, Noah brought FOURTEEN of every "clean" animal and two of every unclean animal. (Genesis 7.2)

Think I'm going to move to the South Pole and read the complete works of John Cowper Powys.

He's very quotable though: a day rarely passes without me saying "things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl."

So much for "The Life and Times of the Wurzels" then.

At some point Americans will realise it's Jimmy Sav-ille not Jimmy Sa-ville.

Better shake the sand out of your shoes.

One day we will only remember Trump's goons and fuckos because their names will be euphemisms for dog shit.

"Whoops, nearly stepped in some Lutnick!"

"If you let you dog Noem on my lawn again I'll call the police."

Drop a crush from your youth.

Sir Clive Sinclair looking like he is having second thoughts about his C5.

No cheating your last saved picture of a celebrity is your therapist.

Eeee, reckon tha's nivver 'ad a reet good wutherin' 'pon top o' moors, lad.

It should be "O'er the garden wall" if it's proper poetry.

I'd write an extra verse, you know
For an extra fifty quid
Something about the afterglow
Above a dustbin lid.

Seems to be missing requisite Roger Whittaker and Hurricane Smith.

Do they strip off and play grab ass like RFK Jr and Kid Rock?

Earworms 021726

Current (and sometimes concurrent) involuntary earworms:
* Contact - Brigette Bardot
* I Love - Tom T. Hall
* Everything She Said - t.A.T.u
* Big Jobs (Poo Poo Extract) - Hatfield and the North
* the Enchanted Sea - Martin Denny

Thankfully it cuts before they snort horse dewormer out of each other's navels.

Maybe he's hiding incriminating tattoos?