Paul Robalino

Bad Bunny, his girlfriends and Tití are welcome at VIP any time

He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more heteronormative

But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end
Well baby, I went down on her

(Me watching a horror movie) I hope that never happens to me

Fergisgusting definition make them boys run screaming

Sitcoms are crazy because how is one group of people getting into that many situations

But doctor… Pagliacci tickets are almost $500 on resale

Sometimes I’m like I’m so funny and other times I’m like I’m literally not funny at all

Imagine being launched into the sun. You'd literally die of a Vitamin D overdose

Do Italian people make turkey parmesan for Thanksgiving

Mario. M. Flip it around—Wario

The darkroom at this wedding ran out of poppers and it’s not even 9:30

Hate having to devein shrimp. Would it kill them to douche

Does biweekly mean twice a week or once a year on bisexual awareness week

Indoor skydiving costs $90 for 2 minutes?? I once paid $4 to go in a tanning bed for 8 minutes. LIKE this if you think it should always cost the same to go inside a machine!!!

Since autumn has a cutesy nickname the other seasons should, too: wither, sprout, scorch

Teachers serving pie on 3/14 was fun and all but if mathematicians discover a new number they should name it chikenstripsandfries

The body is tea but the face is yerba mate

You can’t flush toilet paper in Greece but they never said you couldn’t stuff it down the sink

Does “special sauce” denote a particular family of sauces (like barbecue sauce) or is every restaurant’s special sauce uniquely special

Just a friend-run game :)

Blood on the Clocktower is funny because I’ve never been so blasted that I thought I was a washerwoman

Went with chicken but then wished I’d done the pasta

I asked my server “what do you recommend between the jerk chicken and the rasta pasta” and she said “well are you in the mood for chicken or for pasta”

If you get chemicals in your eyes you’re supposed to flush them with clean water for 15 minutes? Girl the drought

Friday night ❌
Frinight ✅

Does anyone actually unironically use the word “santorum”

You have a beautiful behavior

If I were a singer my first album would be called Greatest Hits

Thanks so much!