Ubik12

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

A lawyer saying they didn’t have access to Westlaw or LexisNexis is like a carpenter saying they don’t have a hammer.

I don’t think “appears” means what the NYT thinks it does.

Sadly this seems true and he probably really thinks you could employ 5 - 10% of the population in the “coal mines”.

Karoline Leavitt is extremely disappointed that you would even suggest that the President would ever— not be able — to disappear members of the Supreme Court.

The real Grok was all the Bluesky users we met along the way.

To survive medical school they need reading comprehension to memorize a bunch of medical textbooks. However listening comprehension, especially active listening, seems mostly optional.

Crypto isn't currency. It isn't even an asset. It is a financial virus designed to privatize money, let corporations run chit-based company stores, and cut nations & central banks off from their own money supply.

Regulated stablecoins are a way for the parasite to get easier control of the host.

I think that works. Though they could consider stealing a fascism helicopter and using it to fight another fascism helicopter as well.

I was like “this sounds 100% real” until I got to the Standard Prison Experiment.

“Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti”…

WARREN: Can POTUS legally tell the IRS to change someone's nonprofit status?

BILLY LONG: I'm not able to answer

WARREN: You can't read these words and tell me what those words say?!

LONG: I can read the statute and I did

WARREN: Then tell me what they mean!

Starting to think that bombarding people with content designed to make them ill-informed, angry, and antisocial for hours upon hours a day has been a real disaster for society and possibly not one we can come back from in our lifetimes

If the first example of a “primary source” you can come up with is Hitler, I can only assume you have read Mein Kampf and cite it regularly.

Page One.

@washingtonpost.com
www.washingtonpost.com/business/202...

Trump is doing a great job convincing everyone that there’s nothing to gain by playing his game

Sure, let’s dissect the mental and physical acuity of the former president who sought to make lives in America better while minimizing the reality of a deranged arsonist dismantling the country we’ve known and loved. What a failure to meet this moment.

The NYT is a worthless rag run by collaborators to countless slaughters.

Okay…I didn’t really need to know about someone’s shrinking kink.

This attitude always benefits the most narcissistic and sociopathic among us.

Unless you can prove it a crime in a court of law then either it didn’t happen or it’s somehow allowed.

guys its only corruption with trump if he buys it in the corrupte region of france

Depending on level of government and jurisdiction, some civil service rules go so far to suggest the perception that it could have affected decision making is “corrupt”.

This idea that we need to interpret the mental state of the recipient to determine whether it is a corrupt act is silly.

“After a hard stop, the 469 page 85 count indictment flew out the open window of the DA’s car and out into traffic, smashing into the window of Target A’s car, stopping it, with sheets flying out in all directions, obstructing Target B - V’s cars and causing Subject A -U’s cars to rear end them.”

Stop.

Under civil service rules it’s not actually a gift if it is made available in the regular course of business to members of the public without regard to their official status.

So all Qatar has to do is give every American a $400 million “palace in the sky” as a gift as they’re good.

TV has rotted Trumps brain so much that everything for him is a pre-ad break teaser.

If we can’t defund the police, can we at least put them on a diet?