The Belladonna Comedy

“A practical ornithological guide to navigating modern mating rituals.” By Dhana Musil

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/field-guide-...

“I’ve never actually dated an — oof — brunette.” By @laurita-jane.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/love-is-blin...

“Parrot still pending.” By @marshwitches.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/yo-ho-mateys...

“I’m sorry, what was after fee fae foe? You cut out for a second.” By Kayla Kurin

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/daily-itiner...

“You received extra points for writing in the comment box: Are we done yet? I need to complete my manifesto.” By @susanwkemp.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/career-test-...

St. Patrick Died So We Can Drink Green Beer at 7:52 A.M. It’s a special month. Now let’s get into some spicy newsletter content!

Do you like laughter? How about green things? Then perhaps you should read and/or subscribe to our monthly newsletter!! thebelladonnacomedy.com/st-patrick-d...

“You can’t put a price tag on fun hangs with friends.” By @laurita-jane.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/lets-split-t...

“The flaming rage in your eyes held me captive, like those illegals I locked away in the detention center.” By @blythewrites.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/maga-missed-...

“If you love something, you let it date someone else.” By Serena Bolliger

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/its-not-you-...

“Women are hilarious.” By @kmaiolatesi.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/how-to-humor...

“Sorry, you appear to have typed: ‘Modernity pushes me to yearn ever more for the sweet release of death.’” By Alice Wilson

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/welcome-to-y...

“Notice that she’s wearing a pin that says
‘Cuttin’ Meat Since ‘87.’ Realize that she hates you.” By Brooke Naumoff

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/how-to-order...

“Classy and Tasteful Ceremonies when you need to be married within the hour.” By @rebecadunn-krahn.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/introducing-...

“It was time to take back my thorax and ten abdominal segments.” By Caroline Santinelli

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/i-the-very-h...

“When I can pronounce the candle’s brand name (is it dip-teak or dippy-t-que?) as well as the ingredients: bergamot, vetiver, geranium, and patchouli.” By Megan Rogers

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/occasions-im...

“Broken pipes, broken furnace, broken will to have a functioning society.” By @halliepritts.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/why-are-we-c...

“What if they don’t want to kiss or cry?” By @jocelynjanecox.bsky.social & Jennifer McClory

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/alternative-...

“Unfortunately, Rihanna didn’t have time to actually read the book — she has three kids under the age of 4.” By @kimberlybridson.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/other-classi...

“He’s out there, you just have to construct him in a lab.” By @kmaiolatesi.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-perfect-...

“Scroll down. Swipe right. Fwip-thunk–ready or not love strikes!” By Robyn Sands

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/cupid-vs-okc...

“Four words: His and her massage!” By @daniellebkoenig.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/how-to-show-...

“Ft. my recent zombie bite ~oop~!” By Molly O. Kemper & Swati Sudarsan

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/grwm-for-dat...

“Decorum Is Not Dead: How Not to Step on the Many Toes of Your Lovers.” By Symin Adive

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/10-topics-yo...

“Relax and enjoy this decadent treatment until the final five minutes when we ask you to describe what percentage of your salary goes to rent. Ahhhhh…” By @wendiaarons.bsky.social @johannagohmann.bsky.social & @alisolomain.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/spa-treatmen...

“(Saying what I’m thinking would be telling).” By Mary Flannery

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-the-g-o-p...

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is… the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” — Mark Twain By Jordan Lish

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/notes-writte...

I wrote this as an ode to Minnesotans and a fuck off to ice. 🖤🧊

“Minnesota Warm: Anything above 8 degrees Fahrenheit.” By @sarahthegardner.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/new-alternat...

“Normally, I start my day with cold brew, but since I’m living like a millennial, I start my day with cold brew, because cold brew was all the rage in 2016!” By Heidi Lux

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-daily-it...

Have any of you gone to get a quick coffee and then frozen at the counter in front of the iPad tip options? If so, this one’s for you!