good morning. eat an oligarch
16.01.2026 12:07
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good morning. eat an oligarch
Murder, She Spelled Out With Magnets On the Refrigerator
There's little use for balloons anymore but maybe we have enough dna on the old rubber knots to clone party people
You know you're getting old when you have to turn your music down to park your car.
Pleased to report that I still have no idea what I'm doing
semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
Take a look a three recent events and one thing becomes very clear: The Trump doctrine is violence.
New video analysis from @davidcorn.bsky.social on the recent events 👇
Yes, JD. Let’s ask them if they think a stay at home mom, avowed Christian, and widow of a veteran deserved to be shot in the face and left to bleed out in her own car after dropping her 6-year-old off at school, for the crime of looking out for her neighbors. Let’s ask everyone running for office.
ok i think we got the oppressive moves from Andor down now let’s try some of the rebel stuff
Pisces: Against impossible odds, this year looks even worse for you.
The vast majority of Americans are opposed to AI and oligarchy, but both of our major political parties are too corrupted by billionaire control to stand up for the people.
it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society
You think that FIFA stuff was bad wait until the Olympic Committee builds a 4th platform above the other 3 for the Platinum Medal awarded to him for every single event
Four men in parkas forcing a furious polar bear into a cage.
“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”
The moon is too bright and my heartbeat is too loud
Dreamed I got a chastising message at work that said, “You should know the names of all the Muppets,” and someone stuck up for me, saying, “I don’t think this one has a name,” and they attached a picture of like a white Gonzo with no eyes
a combination urgent care and taco bell
I'm at the combination
The only thing higher than grocery prices right now is me
"it's stew season!" i happily declare, still mad at you about that thing you said three years ago
Forgetting to turn on the crockpot is my most prolific self sabotage yet.
We don't yoink people with a crook enough these days.
It's kinda like going back to school after summer break. It will feel strange for a few days.
Some say I’m long and rambling. Others say I fail to get to the point. But the jokes on them. I’m a living, breathing director’s cut. I’m da special edition, baby.
Dibs on the band name Meat Loaf Igloo
@bethecookie.bsky.social
I have a very bad feeling about this...
I'm out on another short walk as unofficial town sorcerer. I've brought my bag of unsalted peanuts, my hand-embroidered flower cap, a vintage monster finger puppet for good luck, and my knowledge of mild, almost ineffective charms. My back aches, and I'm not wearing appropriate walking shoes.
Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential?
This is fine. Everything’s fine.
With millions at risk of losing SNAP in the coming days, a reminder: hunger doesn't happen in isolation. When food assistance disappears, families use rent money to eat. Then come evictions and homelessness.
Housing, food, healthcare—it's all connected. Cut one thread and the whole thing unravels.
genuinely when people ask me "how are you" these days I basically laugh
