I won’t say this year’s discourse has been dumber than previous years, but I will say if the academy doesn’t move up this show to at least February I’m taking a flamethrower to the internet
Hollywood really convinced literally everyone deeply cares about Lorne Michaels
Soldier: sir?
General: *typing ‘how win war Iran’ into ChatGPT’* one sec
You always know an Emerald Fennell film is going to be bad, but then you’re there and like…damn this is worse than I’d imagined
Everyone mocked that stupid groundhog and now he’s going to bury us under 2 feet of snow
I never remember it’s Ash Wednesday unless mark wahlberg shows up on my tv with a giant cross smeared across his forehead
Paying streaming services that used to be free $5 more every month until the revolution
Having to explain to a boomer that electronics don’t have standard plugs anymore and you need a USB cord and a stupid little cube, and yeah those things break constantly and you’ll need to buy new ones all the time, is a great way to go insane. 10/10 recommend.
Nunu haaaates my ass
I know everyone is cold and depressed but at least you’re not my mom’s cat who just discovered I’m staying over
Kermit catching a stray in this vid will always be funny www.tiktok.com/t/ZP89AyoSr/
These guys are the only muppets who are real New Yorkers. Argue with the wall.
is this good
Finally watching Ella McCay and making it everyone’s problem
My mom constantly referring to Zohran as “your mayor.” Mine. I did that shit. You’re welcome.
(10 seconds later) gooooo Seahawks?
Googling when is Super Bowl also who is playing in Super Bowl
Somehow got on a mass mailer for a NY Girl Scout troop selling cookies and my first thoughts were:
1. how did this happen, and
2. good for them!!
Friend: *texting me about the terrible state of the world*
Me: *trying to focus but this is in my peripheral*
Me, bravest man in the world: “Return to Silent Hill is better than The Brutalist” (I have never seen The Brutalist but I loved R2SH in spite of literally everything about it)
Me, bravest woman in the world: “The Testament of Ann Lee is better than The Brutalist”
Alex Pretti’s coworkers take a moment of silence this morning
Entering my hibernating bear era
Organizing all my little tax documents during the full fascist takeover
Alex Pretti was a colleague at the VA. We hired him to recruit for our trial. He became an ICU nurse- I lover working with him. He was a good kind person who lived to help and these fuckers executed him.
White. Hot. Rage.
As mentioned on today’s ep, if you want to send some love to Minneapolis, consider donating to Families Helping Families to support families in need of assistance for food, rent, medical care, and more: givebutter.com/famshelpingf...
😘
Joke’s on you, idiots. I wasn’t happy in 2016 either
If I was a programmer I would make an interactive game where it’s like the sims but you learn insane gossip about the townsfolk
Mamdani says it’s now legal to slap the phone out of someone’s hands if they’re recording in a movie to post on TikTok
