—— 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐋⋆˙⟡

Shhhhhh. Don't be shy. I know someone as smart, handsome, and really skilled with my hands — in combat is intimidating.

I'm a solid 10/10. You're a 7 1/2 with your attitude problem and chopped hair. It's fine. We can make it work.

Nooooo can do, Timmers.

My mouth just keeps going whether or not I or you want it to. What that mouth do? A whooole lot.

Baby boy, don't be shy.

We'll face the world hand in hand. Tip to tip.

Shh — ah ah! I know we've been careful about not letting the public in on this. On us.

But I'm ready for the hard launch..

We've been going pretty hot and heavy and very VERY sweaty. Time to reveal our love.

I miss my boyfriend Tim.

Who put Logan with THAT guy????

Well not yet, princess. We haven't done the devil's tango yet.

Now, go on. Bend over.

Well obviously WE aren't. You're the birthgiver with a breeding kink.

Oh my god...

You're infertile????

Well I don't want to call them Deadbabies, that's like way more fucked...

Yeaaaah, people tend to say that after talking with me. Or looking at me. You get used to it! Or you don't.

Probably not.

Can't wait for our batbabies, though! Totally thinking on the name Steve. Pretty powerful.

(but it's still you I want, Hogan Lowlett. What a blast from the past reference that one is.

If you get that one then you'd, as the kids say, know ball)

Sure. Nightwing. Everyone loves his ass — overdone. Overhyped.

But Tim? Tim-Tammy? Mister By The Book Robin indeed. You're more like Batman than the rest of your weird Cullen-esque family tree you got here.

Soooooo....

Call me!

Any other day, I would definitely much rather continue on that Batman/Deadpool thing we had going on. You know, Marvel's desperate cry of attention to attach their name to anything successful.

And Jason is definitely the hotter of the Robins. ++

I am absolutely CLUTCHING my pearls right now. And my balls. It's like a double fistful of both going on right now. I am both shocked and incredibly aroused.

Batman's special battwink wants to have batsex in the batpool??

// Today I would like to publically and calmly address recent incidents I've encountered with Char, a writer many of you know.

A few days ago Char had posted an image on their Kurt account that was a joke regarding the Espstein Files, something that might come across harmless however ++

// its not me I swear

Its him

Just because you're on the clock, doesn't mean you can't have some impromptu office phone sex.

Spooky saw it, fun time is over.

Or just beginning. Bow chika wow wowww~

I've been keeping tabs.

The X-Men sent me these as part of my receuitment, you can tell by the X design.

They're for Logan and I's new team-up. Rivals better get on that.

// Spooky has been yelling in my ear this whole time since I got on this account and very fortunate for me and unfortunate for them—

I'm now dripping.

That being said, my pals, I have to go to bed!

Harlot. Harlot. Harlot.

Don't do that, Pie-babs. They'll cum.

Sorry, what was that, Log? Fuck them all? I have deeply inconvenient selective hearing.

But if you insist! I'm not a natural bottom, never have been, so I hope your adamantium cheeks don't bruise my dick. How does that work exactly? Does your thick body cushion that or..?

Sex jokes?!

Wait. This is the time to use it, it's important I use this.

You won't know why, but she will. She knows.

You.. HARLOT!

Were you perhaps unloved as a child?

Don't worry about that guy, Marvel realized their mistakes and let me fix that.

The only DP you need is this one right here. And that other, equally hot one.

And I'm still holding out on that circle jerking session, I will rearrange my busy schedule to prevent the FOMO.

We're going to unpack this later.