today at the World Metaphors Classic the leader of the USA didn't bother to find out the details of the situation his team was in and blindly assumed they would win a matchup they ended up losing, jeopardizing their long-term standing for no good reason
patriotism re-entering my body the second kyle schwarber drills a 500 foot dinger off the british
HEGSETH: *points to general's ribbon bars* "What'd you get that one for? Fucking your mother?"
GENERAL: *sternly* killing vietnamese children
Each one of those three missiles costs 33% more than the annual budget of the national park where I work.
Can think of nothing more cowardly than pressing a button to shoot a missile that will land dozens or hundreds of miles away. Little bottle of water next to your desk. "Yes sir" and all that shit. Walking around saluting each other. Fucking losers. Killers.
scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe?
AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe
Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed.
Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.
Texas catching intercontinental strays damn
the "hockey ball" that hockey fans refer to is hardly a ball at all. the top and bottom have been sliced down, rendering it more of a disc-like projectile, but it typically moves so quickly that few observers ever notice. the remainder is used to manufacture goalie shelters at each end of the rink
(Woody Allen eating a Da Bomb wing on Hot Ones)
WOODY: Boy, that's like dating your first Gentile girl, there's a real sting to it. Wowee, that's hotter than a New York cab in August. Havin' flop sweat like after the Curse of the Jade Scorpion premiere.
SEAN: Was it weird marrying your daughter?
ohhh ‘democracy dies in darkness’ was aspirational
2027 Super Bowl ad
60-year-old Robin Wright: Farm boy? Order me dinner
64-year-old Cary Elwes: As you wish
Horrific AI recreation of Peter Falk's voice: What she realized that day was that when he said "as you wish," what he really meant was "I'll get UberEats"
every epstein email exchange is like
TENURED PROFESSOR: jeffrey,, another wonderful trip with your "friend's" . i hope to visit your wild wild island aggain soon. your life is a delicilous secret :)
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: yes
If I was a billionaire I would not take trips to Crime Island. I would own The Simpsons arcade machine
🚨 NON-NEGOTIABLE: Kidnapped children must have access to youtube kids during the ride to the concentration camp
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
The “Jupiter Greedy” discourse is quite literally sending me into outer space
GOP: We are sending armed perverts to assault families. Even babies. We are in open warfare against all things good.
Schumer: People call him TACO, but these days it's getting hard to afford one! Can you chip in $5 today to help us hold Mr. Trump accountable for these soft shell economic policies?
ceej @ceej.online reading telegrams from the front but pronouncing "stop" like I'm flirting October 24, 2024 at 12:39 AM
It's gonna be a rough week, so here's one of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time.
[Al Michaels calling the kick return from Dark Knight Rises] would you look at that. meanwhile you got uh. Ward. how do you figure
Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.
12:01 ÷73 + r/AskAnthropology •• What is the oldest lullaby or nursery rhyme that... 11 upvotes • 1 comment As far as the earliest we know of, it's another Babylonian tablet, about 4000 years old and most often known as Little Baby in the Dark House. We don't have the music for it, but again, the BBC article has a good go at describing some commonalities of the music that tends to accompany lullabies, so that might inspire you. The rough translation for that Babylonian lullaby, by the way, is: Little Baby in the dark house You have seen the sun rise Why are you crying? Why are you screaming? You have disturbed the house god. 'Who has disturbed me?' says the house god. 'It is the baby who has disturbed you! 'Who scared me?' says the house god. 'The baby has disturbed you, the baby has scared you, making noises like a drunkard who cannot sit still on his stool. He has disturbed your sleep! 'Call the baby now, says the house god. • 4 Reply A & Vote & Join the conversation
check out this absolutely terrifying ancient babylonian lullaby
I guess it's called "corruption." I've never heard that before. I said wow what a beautiful word. It comes from the Latin [spicy voice] corrumpere. But it's something we're doing and we'll be doing it perhaps more than ever before
Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet
Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night
Laura Palmer's Theme
Jamiroquai when Jamiro vewwy sad
