MELLY

Civilised is for the weak!!!!

Not saying there isn’t a multiverse where that sentiment isn’t true, but this particular Madrid coach only wants what he’s told to want, by people who didn’t want to keep Luka.

Being inconsistent and being a dickhead aren’t the same thing though.

After finally getting something done about the crack smokers, I wake up to discover I’m the victim of The Great Nectar Points Swindle of 2026.

Don’t get me wrong, Tudor’s refusal to front up last night was in keeping with his reputation but he been very pointedly alluding to stuff beyond his control and I can’t help but feel like that’s probably genuine. He isn’t just doing badly. It’s chaos.

Yeah, he passes the elevator test.

The thing with Dyche comes down to whether he’d be happy with a short term contract & a guarantee of being let go, even if he kept them up. I agree that the Dycheillusion has finally been shattered (thank god) but his next decision feels pivotal.

Genuinely quite impossible to imagine Brenden Aaronson as a dickhead. He’s the biggest apple polisher [compliment].

This is why Bluesky will never take off. Easily the most humourless app on the internet 😭

Interested to see who takes it now. They need a real mercenary because nobody wants the honour of possibly taking Spurs down.

Igor Tudor’s post match interview spoke volumes. Not only totally out of his depth and unwilling to take accountability, but has show a complete lack of emotion for Spurs’ situation.

Let’s hope he sees out the rest of the season 😏

Want to go to bed but I’m just gunna wait and see if TNT are going to show the clip. I know that hater Macca would love to show it.

a man in a red adidas shirt is covering his mouth with his hand while standing on a field . ALT: a man in a red adidas shirt is covering his mouth with his hand while standing on a field .

Whenever Lamine scores we get a few days of solid “he’s the best player in the world” but I’d just like to remind everyone he isn’t even the best player at Barcelona.

We don’t need a right back or a left back.

I hope we get an angle of DJed Spence shading Igor Tudor. Now is the right time to put that sassy ‘tude to work.

And the best performance there will still come courtesy of Bad Bunny.

Nope, because hardly anyone actually believed him so it wasn’t acknowledged as a proper result.

Harry did lose, to be fair.

He’ll go back Italy when he does leave.

It’ll be like that scene in Harry Potter where all the ghosts come back to help Potter fight Voldemort after the young lad from London died while playing a game.

I’ve said this many times but there’s no big 3 in Spain. There is Madrid, Barca and Simeone. Atleti will regress massively when Cholo moves on. He’s singular.

Julian is having a funny season. His numbers in La Liga are not great at all but he’s got a decent old Champions League haul now.

Being in Madrid is reason enough to leave the ground. Go out and grab a table for dinner before the restaurants get too busy. They’ll be full of wine now. Lush.

The TNT commentator!!

The Atleti players have been complaining about the turf being slippy for while. Not sure how much of it is to do with the NFL training that happened before Christmas. I think they’re planning to relay it, but not til the season is finished.

“If you only look at the last 20 minutes, it’s 1-nil to Spurs” omg, stop.

Conor Gallagher, score an own goal, I dare ya.

Yeah, I said the other day that I’d not necessarily expect Spurs to lose to Atleti at home for that reason. I could do with Spurs’ confidence being completely shattered, however.

Cruel to be kind, Jamie.

The English bias is so funny because these commentators are massively understating the ease in which a side can overturn a 3 goal deficit against Atleti. I can’t recall them a blowing big lead at home under Cholo. #UCL