Willaa 🌨️

im banned from weighing myself (self-sabotage kink) but i would guess Im back to the weight i was before christmas maybe a little smaller 🤭

ok i got out mid Feb bc
1. Solidc*re which has made me physique-competitive w the other girlies + its so strenuous and expensive, it doesnt make sense to each junk food
2. backtoback anxiety inducing situations (going to a concert alone, dming/meeting this guy, buying a section for my friends)

also my crush anxiety has made most foods hard to stomach since thursday so im feeling very blessed

i was indeed 5% sexier by the end of the week

nothing has motivated me like this 😭

like summer is so far away.. but friday night is approaching soon and i can be 2-5% sexier by then

i literally locked in this week bc i want to be skinny for the club this weekend

half of my diet for the last week has been veggie sushi rolls

i think i had so much anxiety over starting again bc i always wanted to wait until i was 20lbs lighter but :/ i guess if you have decently developed shoulders/abs/quads its not crazy bad at all

since i was having insane cravings and gaining in jan/early feb i started solidc*re again FINALLY which has really motivated me to eat better

bc why would i waste a great workout by eating garbage

bc why am i one of the biggest in the class

ive been healed for the last week or so 🙂‍↕️

🫂 we will get passed this

getting out of my binge cycle finally i hope i pray

i looked so ripped nd sexy in my pilates class this morning it was lowkey embarrassing

i guess my weight and hope i come within 2 pound of it

have to weigh myself sunday 😓 keep me in your prayers pls

unfortunately 😓 i might be counting cals forever the way things tend to go for me when i dont

yeah it only sucked when i went home for the holidays i had way less self control than normal

living alone + working alone = zero food influence 🤭 hehehe

not eating at work is actually the easiest thing ever when ur alone w no temptation

can’t believe i used to get a huge salad nd pastry for lunch and a ~300 cal snack in the afternoon literally every day..

gonna do 509 cals today to balance out Tuesday and prepare for my two weeks at home

weighing myself once a month is so helpful for me rn bc it puts me in a state of anxiety which outweighs my desire to self sabotage

have barely been moving my body in the last two weeks
havent fasted really and im supposed to make my weight goal in 1 week

rn i FEEL like im 3-5lbs away so i have to get fr

my work pants are loose on me again 🙌🏾hallelujah bc i was getting out of handd
they were so uncomfortable on me a like in august but i locked tf in in october

gorgeousss

so being fr with myself + living alone + working in isolation has really kept me on track

this year i gained and lost the same 20lbs

thankfullyy i finally came to terms w the fact that i can’t keep snacks/food in my house after 3 years of denial and chubbiness

not living w my ex helps too. no one to be like “pls eat more. i’m starving. when r u cooking” 🙄

hope everything will be okay 🫂

my fitness instructors love going from downward dog to plank to single leg plank to downward dog to single leg plank

if i was lighter this wouldn’t hurt me

rightt now i understand why some people tend to hate working out

i invented a new soup:

veg broth + teaspoon of red pepper hummus + MSG

calling it chickpea essence