Michael Procopio, at liberty

Thank you. I am comforted by your words.

If I find out Jane Marple is 40-ish, I'm going to get very upset.

I've got a special bottle of champagne chilling, just waiting for the occasion.

"Is he dead yet?" is the first question I ask myself every morning. I hope we don't have to wait too long before the answer is, "Yes, he his, and it wasn't pretty."

My dad used to lob imaginary hand grenades at Family Dental Groups when passing them in his car.

My father absolutely loved dentistry, but I don't think he dreamt of entering the field as a little boy.

My old boss, Harry Lewis, was in that film. Otherwise, it was a brilliant cast.

That last remark tho

That's so Wilder.

I love that, even when lost in a Charisse-fueled rapture, she's quantified exactly how much more of Grand Hotel she can take.

Dazed and Infused When it comes to making flavored vodka, the world is your oyster. Or your ham. Or whatever else floats your booze-fueled boat.

A drinkable three-course meal for those who need it.

Akron is so beautiful this time of year.

I am proud to say that I have no idea what that is.

Also, the martini was not the best.

The wrong thing: A very dry martini.

...and dinner at my one and only time at an Applebee's is what finished me.

One thing's for sure: Judy Garland's funeral GOT THINGS MOVING.

TIL Canada legalized gay sex on June 27th, 1969.

The day BEFORE the Stonewall Riots.

It's a very special place. Once you get over the initial terror, I mean.

The advice given to me by the rental guy as he pushed my kayak into the swamp was "Give the gators the right of way and don't brush up against the branches unless you want snakes in your lap. Now relax and have fun!"

The birdwatching is phenomenal.

I wrote an essay about the event, which was strange to do. It was a deeply uncomfortable process, but ultimately cathartic and amusing.

And I now remember I was 15, not 14, b/c the Olympics opened on my birthday & my mother wouldn't let me to go, b/c I was already in trouble for something else.

And the "how" is that it was summer, I was 14, bored, and really wanted to see what my swingin' nudist neighbor's bachelor pad looked like.

It felt like my entire life because it all flashed before my eyes, but it was probably about an hour spent bargaining with god, and trying not to sneeze or cry.

Finding myself trapped under a neighbor's bed when he unexpectedly came home for a naked noontime nap.

It was much worse than it sounds.

Right?

I have forever crushes on both lead actors.

One was an auto mechanic. The other was an accountant, who dreamed of being an artist, was hired by Walt Disney to paint backdrops for animated films, and drowned trying to save a drunk guy from drowning while celebrating his new job on the 4th of July, 1947.

I went to school with Jeff. We were on our school's trivia team together. I can't say I knew him well, but he was very kind to me when others were not.

He was a good egg.

Balint to Noem: "You're the secretary of DHS -- for now. And you think you're immune from accountability. But I promise you this: one day he is not gonna be president anymore. And when that day comes, we will still be here. And in hearings like this, we are going to continue to prove your guilt."