ʙʟᴀɴᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ꜱᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ

I hope Sean combs dies in prison next year

A [very] timely direct deposit

I just got a notification that a man I texted in August, “liked” my text about 30 min ago….so idk

What I'm gon’ do lord?!?*Bernie mac voice*

Have you ever been SWAAALLOOOOWWWEEDD?

Chance Perdomo ain't got no business being dead. I miss him

😂

NIGHT OWL NIGHT OWLLLLL 🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉

Sleeping ass-to-ass with someone who *gets* you is unmatched

If you see this share a pic from your device with no explanation…

Two things: escapism + parasocial relationships

My eyelashes are so pretty

THEY CLOSED PUBLIC POOLS RATHER THAN SWIM WITH BLACK PEOPLE

YOU ARE DEALING WITH THE SAME GROUP OF PEOPLE AS THE FOLKS WHO DID THIS

PLEASE WAKE THE FUCK UP

I’m missing YEEEEEEWWWW

The was a great read

Because I'm bi and kinky, real recognize real.

Most products only have a 12 month shelf life. It’s so wasteful. I have OCPD, I often have to resist the urge to collect. Hoarding by another name is still hoarding, no matter how organized lol

You do not deserve to be paid for existing lol

Big dick doesn't become less of a favorite because the guy I like doesn't have one
*let that sink in*

WHO'SE DICK DO I GOTTA SUCK TO SUCK SOME DICK AROUND HERE????

Nelly Furtado (2025)

Benefits include: great pussy, emotional chaos, snacks, and free unsolicited life advice

✨ I don’t need your mixtape.

I need to know you’ve been to therapy, can cover a copay, and will DoorDash me a smoothie when I’m cute and cranky

kirby is eating a bag of chips from a bag . Alt: kirby is eating a bag of chips from a bag .

📋 Harem requirements aren’t steep:
– Emotional regulation ✅
– Health insurance ✅
– A treat fund (boba, Sephora, small plushies, etc.) ✅
Romance optional, snacks mandatory

monogamy can’t handle this much personality, I fear

My harem will have:
– a treasurer (because bills)
– a hype squad captain
– a person solely dedicated to reminding me I’m That Girl

Molly minding her business

Instead of a boyfriend, I’ll be curating a harem. Think community garden but for affection

💌 To love me is to have Kaiser, BlueCross, or Medicaid. PPO if you’re tryna impress

Hei! Você by Dom Salvador & Abolição on Apple Music Song · 1971 · Duration 2:32

music.apple.com/us/album/hei...

If you’re someone who still reads for pleasure, you are a marvel. If you’re able to unplug from all the chaos of our entertainment culture and disappear into the warmth and solace of a book, that is a rare gift and I’m very glad to know you.

Some dumb reality show shit

I’m just waiting for the debrief email at the end: “Thank you for your participation in The Study of Men Who Claim They’re ‘Not Like Other Guys.’ Please collect your compensation in tears and wasted time.”