Nick Pettigrew

This is the equivalent of a Japanese programmer calling an American baseball player Bobson Dugnutt.

Two additional thumbs up for this game.

This kind of thing always reminds me of the Chris Morris response when Alan Partridge says he's a big fan of the law.
"What, you stand on the touchlines of a weekend and cheer on the law?"

I'll be honest, the few bits of pushback against Quentin Tarantino recently have felt like the first flurries of loosely-packed snow falling down the side of a mountain.

Trevor Phillips is on Times Radio at the moment presenting its lunchtime show and talking about the imminent release of the Mandelson files. He’s not mentioned that Peter Mandelson has been his friend for many years and was best man at his first wedding.

"I'd far rather be happy than right any day."
"And are you?"
"No. That's where it all falls down, of course."

Absolute danger Andy Ogles doing an Islamophobia.

I absolutely guarantee you that any US politician making statements like this has a laptop at home with a hard drive so toxic you could only look at it for 60 seconds at a time, like being on the roof of Chernobyl.

"Filming has begun. How's it going?"
"We've got our first SHOT DOWWWNNN."

1: I called Piers Morgan a seething misogynist, told him the grave yawned for him, called him a c nt and demanded that he block me.
2: Ellie Goulding vanity searched my post where I said she sounded like a baby owl farting into a Laura Ashley throw cushion.

Both fair enough, really.

Christ knows what she'd make of Pale Fire. A paper hat, presumably.

Oh god. It's very easy to not be the guy at the centre of this thread, but nevertheless: don't be the guy at the centre of this thread.

Yes, often.

This is the government equivalent of blaming the dog every time you fart, even when everybody knows you don't own a dog.

Look, it's perfectly simple, the Peptomides interact with the stomach's natural pinkosity receptors to reduce nausea, while the Bismolium helps minimise vomiting (hence the Queen lyric "Bismolium - no, we will not let you go.")
I thought everyone knew that.

I didn't think Pete Hegseth wanted beards in the military.

When you're poor you know your bank balance to the nearest penny & an exact inventory of your kitchen shelves, the precise date each of a half dozen bills are due & how long each can default before they accrue fines or disconnection & which items are cheaper in which store for a 3-mile radius.

When the trees behind your house are a thoroughfare for capuchin monkeys:

"Keep going, I can still hear you."

open.substack.com/pub/npettigr...

Pissing Off Always An Option, People Advised

(Tucks newspaper under arm)

"Right, I'm just off to lay some mines in the Strait of Hormuz. I'd give it twenty minutes if I were you."

ECHR - European Convention on Horny Rights

Because dictators always want their underlings to be fighting each other so they don't organise against them. This is really basic stuff.

Jam Tomorrow latest:

Halfwitkoff.

Weak Genes Levy

You've got to have a system.

It's not difficult, you just need t...I've said too much.

This is like two jewel thieves breaking into a shop and one of them saying they had nothing to do with the other guy stealing necklaces as they were concentrating on stealing rings at the time.

if they can offer free AI training they could offer free media literacy training too. i know which of those would do more for the public good

"Keep going, I can still hear you."

open.substack.com/pub/npettigr...

Pissing Off Always An Option, People Advised

Nightingales. A two-series sitcom from the 80s about night shift security guards from one of the writers of Goodnight Sweetheart.
Sounds deeply unpromising but is in fact a surrealist masterpiece. Episodes include a werewolf co-worker, a King Lear spoof & a woman giving birth to a snooker table.