if you can’t find your way to me among my eleven pillows on my bed then that’s your problem pumpkin
07.03.2026 02:32
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if you can’t find your way to me among my eleven pillows on my bed then that’s your problem pumpkin
I think my sleep paralysis demon is mad at me. It keeps covering up my temperature regulating foot and making me too warm.
Gas prices near me are over $4
too broke for jokes
Holy shit you guys I just realized you don't have to be on vacation to have a shower beer. You can absolutely do it at 11pm on a Wednesday night.
I did!!!
Blue and white Install CD for Kmart Bluelight.com Totally free internet service
Did anyone else use Kmart Bluelight internet service or just me?
May the meatball roll in your favor..
I love that Tony Hawk has this lore where people never recognize him and I got to witness it happen 30 years ago at the Ontario airport in CA. This old lady was asking him about his skateboard and said “well you can’t make a career out of that” and I caught his eye. We both looked down and laughed 😂
I'm equal parts perfectly imperfect, unprepared, over-prepared, and the sugar and spice thing.
How old do I have to be before it’s socially acceptable to give up on social etiquette, hygiene, and all the other annoying stuff?
Ugh. Margot Robbie just got a bob right when I was thinking about getting one. Now I can’t because she’ll think I copied her.
I’m incredibly proud of you 🍾
which bad bitch got served divorce papers this morning, went and did two back to back interviews, and got offered a job this afternoon?
THIS BAD BITCH 🙋🏻♀️💅
Libras are such a grift, I gotta say
It's international women's day so if I've ever made you laugh you owe me an international woman
Places that observe daylight saving time: Sleep experts say the clock change disrupts your circadian rhythm and can harm your health.
Also places that observe daylight saving time: Anyway, enjoy your suffering. See you in six months.
When even the animals get raptured but you don't
I'm made of stardust, but I still have to do chores.
"Abandon hope all ye who enter here"
- current houseplants to the new ones
More daylight, darker sunglasses.
Uncmaxxing is that a thing, I'm making it a goddamn thing. This will be my summer of uncmaxxing.
don’t want to get too kooky here but how about we elect not evil people
Okay, Mike Judge, we get it: You are the Generation Jones Nostradamous.
The world is a vampire.
due to current gas prices, i'm gonna need you to get out of my car and into my dreams.
overgrown green grass, yellow flowers, and a couple of trees on the edge of a lake with hills and mountains visible in the distance
a lovely place to linger
being pressed into a dumpling might fix me
the sun is setting and about to disappear directly behind a rooftop
caught the sun clocking out
