Holden

SON OF A

Preparing for next art stream

OMIGOSH ITS MEEEEEEEEE

I WANNA SCRATCH THESE LOTTERY TICKETS ON STREAM I WANNA SCRATCH THESE LOTTERY TICKETS ON STREAM I WANNA SCRATCH THESE LOTTERY TICKETS ON STREAM I WANNA SCRATCH THESE LOTTERY TICKETS ON STREAM I WANNA SCRATCH THESE LOTTERY TICKETS ON STREAM I WANNA SCRATCH THESE LOTTERY TICKETS ON STREAM I WANNA SCRA

Please, let me not lose my mind, this understimulation is killing me

I can't tell if the reason Holden Falsch looks foreign to me is because burnout or a deeper thing. I'm probably okayish

There's nothing like not recognizing my own thoughts and feeling. Having them clouded behind years of pretending and suppression. This is like a archeological dig, I wonder what I'm gonna find

I just suffered a lot of anxiety while reading a manga. I can't pin specifically the reason for the anxiety. It just kept getting worse and worse until the last couple of pages. Was I getting into the story? Was I cheering for an outcome? Was I sympathizing with one of the characters? I don't know

Please brain, we got better, don't go back down the same road we just got off. We can beat the brain worms if we be better than we were.

I nearly forgot where I was when I hit the discover tab. Whew

Oh shit, it's happening again. The exact same trap I'm dumbly walking into, that I have walked into before and struggled with for literal years. Its like I'm lacking object permeance. I think I can pull myself out it. But I'm praying for myself to remember the stairs

I've become aware that I'm terribly lacking in specific direction for certain aspects of my streamer identity especially on the twitch part. I feel like since I'm not especially interesting, I don't need to think about it. That's dumb, popularity doesn't happen all at once. Currently brainstorming

This is blowing my mind

I'm beginning to believe that buying into the lottery wouldn't be the biggest mistake I could make

Every time I try to be creative it feels like my brain is limiting me. WHY CAN'T I GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY!! I JUST WANT TO DO THESE THINGS THAT I LOVE AND TO ALSO SHARE THEM!! WHY DO I SABOTAGE MYSELF LIKE THIS!?!??!???

Day 2 of doing an all-nighter for my job and I feel like I've spent like half my day here. I gotta figure out how to entertain myself or I'm gonna lose my mind

This job with it stability(nukes my weekend nights) might allow me to make a stream schedule. I'm super plussed about it

Can't wait to change my life with this job that'll probably disrupt my entire schedule but I bet every dollar I got I'll love it

Reconciling whats going on in my life and trying to stream is difficult. I wish I could be over this hump quicker, so I can go back to being goofy streamer dood

Currently feeling invisible despite being surrounded by people

I occasionally think I'm the last sane person in the world. Looking at people saying some unhinged unhealthy things. Its such a weird thing to think.

Paranoia is a hell of a drug

Sometimes I wish people would interact with me when they have an issue with the circles I run in. I don't get some of the tribalism people have

No,don't. I only did it because I had an idea. On that note, what is eldenwood?

>design image for a post chain
>decidedly ignore all the hashtag words because it can't be that important
>ten minutes later actually look at them
What the heck are these words?

This is who runs this account.

#Eldenwood #Vsky #Vtuber #Pngtuber

I tried to transcribe the text I written in a notebook onto a tablet so I can continue the story there. Alas my energy wants to be printed on paper

New profile header. Just in a creative mode right now

Currently writing a short story based on a thought I had. It's kinda depressing. Well, I think it's interesting. Don't have to write a best seller. Just to write something interesting