maz

male lyft drivers have the worst radio choices. i paid $25 for you to drive me home from work because i have a migraine. thanks for loudly playing christian rap music. jfc

in response to today's news i am cancelling my knee surgery. im sorry

hey what’s up guys

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chia appreciation post 💫

sometimes when i catch myself about to read the nutritional information on something im about to eat i remember D.B Cooper and think to myself would D.B Cooper have been able to do one of the coolest things any american ever did if he ate restrictively? no i dont think so i think he ate big pastas.

legally blonde (2001)

listing out my garfield collection in the divorce forms feels kind of hilarious ngl

customers are so evil on fridays im going to change my availability cause fuck this forever lmao

cucumber is a fruit too. this world is so fucked up.

rude customer counter is at 4 already, i’m about to change my availability to no fridays bc people are so fucking psycho every fucking week!!!!!

shoutout to the customer who made fun of me for stretching, i’m disabled & u fucked up my whole day for that

none of this would have happened if kevin mcallister would have punched trump in the balls so hard that he died in home alone 2: lost in new york

what are you talking about

no it’s fine i didn’t even want to do it.. i’ll go be on pinterest by myself…

Come at me bro. I’m in North Korea.

i was like 21 or 22 tho

i went to the eye doctor the next day i’m pretty sure lmao i was driving !!!! how was i driving!!!! i’m amazed

that’s too much discourse in one post.

we should kill them. fictional btw

i tried on my friends as a “do i look smart?” joke and we accidently had the same prescription and i was like OMG I CAN SEE LEAVES I CAN SEE EVERYTBING?!!??!

post you from a different era

👎

ough so gleeby.,,

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goobnight

that guy who shot john lemon was actually a time traveler from the timeline where he lived on to do benefit concerts on epstein island

bro a diva is a female version of a hustla

many people are saying…