Liz Lets Loose

😍 The world needs more of this

I recently signed up for their emails

Chicken Fried Rice: Best By Dates 3/4/26 through 2/10/27

Vegetable Fried Rice: Best By Dates 2/28/26 through 11/19/26

Japanese Style Fried Rice: Best By Dates 2/28/26 through 11/14/26

Chicken Shu Mai: Best By Dates 03/13/2026 through 10/23/26

It's true. They recalled four frozen food items because of the possibility of their having glass in them

I've lost track. Does trump still want Greenland?

I'm with you. Have they reinstated their DEI policy? No? Then fuck 'em

Add a letter, ruin a song.

Highway To Hello

How I flirt:

You sound like a wonderful friend

You beat me to it 😂

Maybe she just desperately needed that bit of alone time? I can relate to that

100% reasonable

anyone who's still here when the party's over will have chores allocated to them

If there was an Amber Alert for a child named Waldo it wouldn’t be funny but I would probably laugh a little bit to myself.

Pair of bright yellow and red clown shoes with yellow laces

Best shoes for them all:

Distance makes the heart grow tentacles.

😆 🫶

as your friend, i’m going to add 1 tiny dollop more of cream cheese to your bagel every day until, without even noticing, you’re eating a big old spread

Could be the glass-in-the-food thing

It just means we weren't meant to be a couple. But we can be friends

Not to brag but I’m sought after*

*wanted in 4 states

Does this mean we can't be friends? 💔

i miss when the prospect of a texas-sized asteroid seemed scary

I think the government has taken over our country.

I'm the person grabbing the coffee stirrer to scrape the mound of cream cheese off my bagel 😂

I’m sorry if I offended you, I was trying to offend someone else (your mom)

Uh oh. I'm that monster 😂

my work emails are starting to read like shitposts, and my shitposts read like, please advise.

Cows are quakers
Lots of them
Standing in a field
Not set hierarchy

Now I understand why I like them

I’m neither underrated nor overrated. Not sure I’m even rated.