I was like, awestruck by how chill and delightful you were?? And then you kept being chill and delightful for ACTUAL DECADES. In person, in internet spaces, as a parent, as a friend, as a voice of reason and also a voice of welcome. Even on your hardest days, you are that same person, and ilu. (2/2)
Happy big birthday!! I told M that I was going to send you a HBD text, and she mentioned this thread. The first memory that came to mind is actually when we met online, and you saved me from an Awkward Social Situation. I was so grateful and you were so cool—so sharp and funny and observant (1/2)
The 8yo will be okay! It’s actually—understanding the risk I’m incurring here, knocking wood—a lucky break. It’s as minimally broken as an ankle can be and still qualify for the title.
She has earned herself PT 6x/year until she’s an adult, as per ortho, but we were afraid it would be worse!
I was starting to feel like we were getting out shit together after a tough year, but literally hours after I thought that, the 8yo broke her ankle again 😵💫
So I’ll be absentish for like 3-4 more months—assuming I can refrain that long from hopeful thoughts which draw the wrath of the luck gods
I just know I would have ended up shooting out of there like the cop on the cop slide
I am very late to come back to this, but I really thought this one was a coast-to-coast classic. What else are you supposed to sing as you dissemble a dandelion?!
ID: screenshot of the Apple health app showing a chart of a night’s REM core and deep sleep. Looks great until 2am where symmetrical blocks of core sleep are on either side of a narrow shaft of deep sleep. A penis with perfectly symmetrical balls.
Okay, I only slept 5 hours, but look at the perfect work of art I made with that time
Lea hasn’t heard it and other pockets of people have across the country, but not everyone! And not anyone I know who lives in the state Martha grew up in. A mystery!
A💫 already thought it was weird but I’m going to teach it to C so he grows up normal
No but our babysitter sings it that way!! Please, give the children some grim dark, they can handle it
a) that’s so funny but b) the heated mattress pad literally changed my life, best purchase, enjoy!!
Sea WHAT!! You pick a dandelion, you say “mama had a baby,” you pop the flower off with your thumb, you say “and its head popped off!” Normal childhood things!
Right?? Literally why was I getting a look from her while performing totally normal toy face repair. What a world.
Just no culture at all in some parts of the Midwest, sad to say
THANK you!! I said “you know, the song you sing while you’re popping the head off dandelions” and you should have seen the expressions I got back. But I knew they were the weird ones!!
Well that’s a brand new sentence
Okay, my wife had never heard the “mama had a baby and the head popped off” kid song, but somehow I’m the weird one??
The hustle was masterfully run AND very cute! Who could resist!!
They made a sign telling the woodpecker where there are good trees, and then the eldest pal was like, “wait, can woodpeckers read?” I love them 😂
The other one will be T H R E E in mere weeks. He’s absolutely peak 2.9 😵💫
100% a grift and I absolutely let myself get suckered because they were soooo cute. They knew an easy mark!! That’s master level!
A whole 8yo but tall and well-spoken, so, as she says, “but everyone thinks I’m nine.” 😂 how did this happen!!
They’ve negotiated up to a spring trip to the ice cream place where I give them $20 to spend on whatever they want, and I can hear them plotting $25 at a toy store in the city 🤔
8yo with friends over for a play date comes barreling into the room. “Here’s the deal. We give you three ideas for getting rid of the woodpecker and you give us five bucks. EACH. Okay byeeeee.”
This was not what I expected when I was told their animal club was meeting here today.
Reporting in with the best sentence I’ve ever overheard in a suburban target: “I’m going to get judgment from the other van lifers for having so much plastic.”
This is the proper ratio of tree to ornaments
I thought so! Weird that the 8yos and suburban moms were less impressed??
Isn’t it great? I’m glad you all appreciate the effort 😂
Thank you, I am glad to know that there are still people with good taste in the world!!
Yes we ate so many!! we used a ton of them at Halloween—they are lightly citric, very pleasant really. Hopefully the ones you’re gifting are just as good 😂
Appreciative golf clap for that one 👏
That’s almost literally what I said! And an 8yo boy said, “that’s weird.” Hello? The point?? 😂
