This episode has the word's best @marthakelly.bsky.social @bryangutmann.bsky.social @mattknudsen.bsky.social @mrdavehill.bsky.social & @alisonrosen.bsky.social
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It's OK to give up before the miracle.
“The government is no longer governing. It is mirroring. This is not merely dysfunction. It is psychological collapse at government scale. Entire agencies behave like cult members mirroring their leader’s mood—because, in essence, they are.”
No worries, you're now officially in the department too!
You did such a great job that you’re fired.
You're right, LA sucks.
Aw, thanks buddy. 🙏
As a comedian, I'm a better writer than I am a performer.
And I am not a good writer.
I've watched this cactus slowly grow into a man surrendering.
Truly one of the funniest things I've seen in the wild. 😀
I work with a real jerk, can't stand him, don't even think he knows my name. Today he's suddenly the nicest guy here. Knows my name, knows everyone's name. He's playing the piano. Just saw him surprise a young couple with wrestlemania tickets.
Jesus was woke.
I’m hearing good things about the Melania movie.
FACT: When you're just dating someone, they're not going to help you figure out how you got diarrhea.
I think we can all agree that bidet is the most elegant sounding word possible for something that blasts shit off your asshole.
From the radical left freedom haters at... check notes, The USA Today...
Please sound off in the comments if you're OK with federal agents murdering people.
She was absolutely right. And she would have been an amazing President.
It's official. I'm tired of winning.
#sad
How big of an idiot is he?
When you say he's an idiot, you immediately know it's him.
#sad
I'm a tight cannon.
It's official, I'm tired of winning.
So the 'Can't you just shoot them, just shoot them in the legs or something?' has some thoughts...
#iran #sad
Years ago, I saw Kenny Rogers at The Hollywood Bowl. Mid-show he said,
"Folks, I'd like you all to give a nice hand to my good friend Sean Hayes."
A spotlight shown on Sean Hayes in the middle of the crowd. He stood, waved, and sat down. Kenny then went on with the show.
I'll never forget it.
Pacific Ocean!
iSunset
When I think about the mounting challenges Los Angeles faces and the unlimited potential and hope this city offers us all, I'm proud to endorse as our next mayor, Spencer Pratt.
You're right, LA sucks.
Who treats you more like family?
A. The Fast and Furious Crew
B. Olive Garden
Let me know in the comments. This matters.
