Arr David

Crochets in progress?

President Camacho

President Camacho approves all them simple words.

The Indian subcontinent diaspora never settled in the South. They didn't raita it.

I just made Tory proposed £50 banknotes with country wildlife scenes with a badger 😂

Tory party have proposed alternative £50 banknote scenes.

The Admiral in command.

I suppose if it was scenes of fox hunting, badger baiting or grouse shooting, they'd be happy.

A tax barrister sued me personally for £8m for libel after we linked him to a tax avoidance scheme.

Today the High Court struck out the claim, granted summary judgment, and ruled it was a SLAPP. The judgment is highly critical.

It could be argued that Jimmy Tarbuck stole a living for years.

Is he wearing ballistic slippers?

Surprised I managed to get away with it. The naiveté of youth.

"How much did a worker get paid in the Industrial Revolution, Dad?" "What have I said about doing your history homework on the way to school?" "They don't really read it. They just note I've done it" "On average about 15 shillings a week. In the black treacle mines they could earn double, especially if they ran into a seam of bonfire toffee. Hard as diamond. Twice as valuable." Son dutifully notes this all down.

We'll see if they really read it.

It's just a very graphic account from a barrister dealing with seeing CP during a case and the horror she experienced.

After multiple dislocations I had cuff and ligament repair by keyhole surgery. Got a couple of small tungsten screws in there. It did take months of physio, but never looked back. My shoulder's in great shape 15 years on.

The thing is, this was normality for me. I'm hardly aware of what is, or not, shocking 😔

As a junior barrister I went to a police station to watch client evidence. I had not been told what I was to see. I have never forgotten watching the video of a child being buggered and the sadistic delight the camera person took in zooming into the child's face as it contorted in terror and pain. It's hard to feel clean and whole after these experiences. It is hard to go back home and to watch your own child innocently playing with his dad when all you can see is the difference in their size and what that can mean in terms of power and pain for an abused child. This account is from a junior barrister who suffered PTSD as a result of work dealing with cases of torture and abuse: 'It is part of my job to get details - the minute details of the abuse, such as, how and where someone was beaten, how it made them feel, how fearful they were of being raped and tortured by prison guards and inmates. The reason is that some asylum seekers do make things up, and so, in order to test their account, I have to listen to what happened, something that a counsellor or therapist does not have to do. The same can be said for those of us who have had to view child pornography. Something I have only had to do once and an experience that still haunts me 8 years later. The problem with this job is that there is no training on how to deal with these matters... I am fortunate in that I am reasonably aware of my frailties and am willing to discuss them. When on holiday I realised I was suffering and returned to chambers and met with my senior clerk and a QC who had more experience than I did of genocide and torture cases. They were very supportive. I took a couple of weeks off to try to recover and relax [...] but I realised I needed a specialist in PTSD. I tried a general counsellor but he was dreadful. Through the recommendation of a psychiatrist friend I found a specialist in PTSD [...] and have learned [how to cope and overcome] the issues.... I take significant breaks from practice…

I take joy in silliness. I have dealt with the PTSD. I have folded it up neat, tidy and placed it into a box. The box has been shelved away. Not forgotten, but barely remembered. That's the point. Occasionally things come up in dreams. I read this. It's not just me. It carries on through.

Okay.

😂😂

That's a Trump thing isn't it? I'm sure it's a Trump dementia thing. Did they let him watch 'The walking Dead'?

.. The traumas fill you up to back teeth. The scene. The body. The evidence. The post mortem.
Then the 2 week trial where your honesty is questioned. Every piece of evidence is doubted. Every witness a liar.
Yeah. I now like sitting writing a report and occasionally doing stupid stuff.

My kids used to ask, "What ya been to today, Dad? A murder? A body?" I now like saying, "I just sat and wrote a report", which is far less interesting.
It's all fascinating second or third hand. Who did it? The forensic trail that leads to the suspect. The interview. The trial.
First hand..

Well... I have done swabs from the other ends for DNA too... Let's face it, I have a weird occupation.

Ooh, I tell a lie. I had to learn about taking buccal swabs and doing feet prints. Like finger prints but from feet.

Well I have done work when people are in induced comas or about to have support switched off. Sort of inbetween.

I love how a lot of you thought I would force feed a colleague multiple tins of Beans & Sausage in bizarre research. Margarita is totally fine. Still alive, with no problems at all. She's extremely fit and healthy.
I don't experiment on people. Not while they're alive, of course. Or awake.

Have you warned them about ouija boards, satanism and blood sacrifices?

Son hates cauliflower, daughter loves it. Daughter hates broccoli, son loves it. Everyone hates courgette. It's not hard to work round things for people when you cook it and know what they hate or love.

Cold. No time to microwave. Anyway they're already cooked when they go in the tin.

Post-grad research opportunities are rare these days.