cynthia, unchained

im losing it

its happening its happening

im gonna hurt someone or damage one of my relationships and i really don't want to

scared of whats gonna happen the day i crack again and people see what im really like when i lose the ability to restrain myself. i can feel myself becoming messier by the day.

book excerpt that reads: As Marsha Linehan, a leading expert on BPD, noted, “Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree burn patients. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin.

feeling this rn

hi dear, if you're reading this please know the bridge has not been burned. i hope you're okay. love you, please reach out when you're ready.

i need to talk to my roommate about the fact that nothing really gets cleaned if i don't do it but unfortunately i am terrified of confrontation so i will just keep doing unequal amounts of free domestic labor like the woman i am

honestly getting on rym is one of the better things you can do for yourself if you wanna get more into music. it doesn't have an app but you can use the "add to homescreen" function in your mobile browser to effectively turn the webpage into a usable app.

im lesbiats on there, obviously, if anyone wants to follow me. im still not super consistent with throwing ratings on there and i have completely forgotten how to review music and don't have the vocab for it at all anymore but i do intend to keep using it.

i log into rym and the homepage is just a series of album recommendations made by actual human beings from a variety of genres and eras and literally all of them are good and i cultivate my own little space where i can catalog my listening so it's easier to find stuff years from now. this is great.

kind of insane to me that people clown on rateyourmusic and then you start using it and you're like. oh this is just what the internet used to be before everything got consolidated into five websites and made significantly worse.

playing peak tn with the gang for the third night in four days because this is my entire life now. it's not so bad honestly. could be a lot worse.

i regret everything i have ever done

i love sobbing for like 90 straight minutes

sorry

i want to break every bone in my worthless body

i can't deal with this i can't deal with feeling this alone all the time i can't deal with feeling like the life i want is so far away and so hard to grasp i can't do this i can't do this i can't do this i can't

kind of losing it

"how dare you fine me im out of the country i cant return the book"

why did you think it was a good idea to leave the country for three months without returning your library books.

having one of those days where everyone on the tl is posting about things that i absolutely believe exist but have basically never actually seen and im just like. how have i dodged this.

yeah ur a real dyke for sure :)

yea :)

sorry i dont hang out with queers, only faggots and dykes.

btw ty to the girls who have checked in on me ill be okay im just going through it

last night i was angry and irritable tonight im just Sad

fern is showing me the cute clothes she got today and waow i love my beautiful girlfriend so much her legs are so gorgeous

to do things in a lesbian way you have to actually be a lesbian :)

irrationally annoyed by a post

im gonna kms if i have to see mamdanis hot wife again. shes so fucking hot. what the fuck

this feels good