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Virgil Twobyfour

@virgiltwobyfour

Part-time mystic, allotment keeper, & shed-based philosopher. Publisher of rustic almanacs, horoscopes & questionable advice. Tea stains, rude vegetables, & wartime peculiarities. Frequently baffled by technology. https://linktr.ee/virgiltwobyfour

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13.04.2025
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Latest posts by Virgil Twobyfour @virgiltwobyfour

I think what it isn’t not saying is that the government didn’t fail to not be stopped from not banning something they didn’t not ban.
Which, if I’m not mistaken (and I usually am), means… nobody’s quite sure what hasn’t happened yet.

Still, sounds like something didn’t not go well for someone.

17.10.2025 12:25 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Preview
🎃 The Hallowe’en Dossier - Cover Reveal 🎃 Virgil Twobyfour published a post on Ko-fi

We are chuffed to share The Halloween Dossier cover!
Astonishingly, David Southwell (#Hookland) & Tony Walker (Classic Ghost Stories Podcast) have said very kind things - leaving Virgil speechless & Keith asking for a raise.
Full reveal & member release 31/10 👇
tinyurl.com/5ds4vyr6
Keep a lamp lit.

17.10.2025 11:25 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It was quite the eye-waterer.

16.10.2025 11:38 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Did anyone just see that? What a magnificent specimen!

16.10.2025 09:50 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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Sunday walk. Trees all copper and fire along the disused line, through the old ironworks, quarries, and ancient beechwood written of by The Bard.
The air felt full; like history breathing too close, humming in the roots.
Something walked behind me, steady as memory.
#Hookland never really leaves you

12.10.2025 15:58 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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The fog’s arrived early, there's a smell of scorched apples, and Something’s moving under the village bonfire again.
I’ve written down what it whispered in The Hallowe’en Dossier.
Copies available soon, assuming the post still reaches this side of #Hookland
ko-fi.com/virgiltwobyf...

09.10.2025 11:55 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The moon’s too clean tonight. It’s the sort of light that makes every puddle look like it’s remembering something.
Dogs won’t bark, clocks keep hesitating, and I swear my shadow just winked.
Best keep bread in your pocket and don’t look the moon in the eye. It remembers. A #Hookland night.

07.10.2025 21:12 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

@goonpod.bsky.social Have you, on your audio travels, happened upon the aural delights in Listen Through The Brown Window (@soullessparty.bsky.social)? Fun in a distant-cousin-thrice-removed-from-the-Goons kind of way, not least in the wonderful attention to detail over the soundscapes they create.

03.10.2025 14:37 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1
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I sat down to my boiled egg with soldiers this morning & found the top already off, & the yolk looking back at me in a faintly accusatory tone. Checked the egg box, & it explained everything. I'll need to speak with Mrs Burgin at the corner shop about sourcing her local produce from #Hookland

02.10.2025 09:05 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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October 1st and a cold snap overnight. The scarecrow in the North Field has turned to face the lane again. Nobody admits to moving it. Seagulls won’t go near it, and they’re not fussy. Last night someone heard it knocking on the grit bin for salt.
Could be nothing. Could be #Hookland.

01.10.2025 09:57 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Found a sign this morning. A crow on the post looked like it had done the paperwork. I asked if it was council business or a Barrow Marsh advisory they speak of in #Hookland. It blinked like I was late to my own haunting. The fog smelled of hymn books & burnt nettles, so I took that as confirmation.

30.09.2025 08:51 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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22.09.2025 08:27 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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@jayforeman.bsky.social @markcooperjones.bsky.social

Dear Map Men,

Can you help? We are all a bit uncertain about where we live.

Best wishes

Virgil Twobyfour

18.09.2025 17:20 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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17.09.2025 15:52 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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@loremen.bsky.social I found this old tome in a neighbour’s potting shed, wedged between their back issues of Peat Monthly.
Should I wear gloves before attempting the Surye Wanton Tricks, or is a strong cuppa protection enough? And should I keep it away from my biscuit tin? Any advice welcome.

12.09.2025 10:44 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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06.09.2025 10:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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04.09.2025 08:29 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Wonderful. Have you ever made a video showing your process? I would love to see how you go about creating such beautiful art.

04.09.2025 08:29 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Morning tea. Mist hanging like pearls on every cobweb. September has tiptoed in while the beans weren’t looking.
The month reminds me nothing truly ends, just changes shape, like a bucket turning into a colander over time.
If you see me staring at the mist, I’m trying to work out what it’s plotting.

03.09.2025 09:13 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Late summer sun
amber & thin
sliding thru nettles
brushing my skin
It hangs in cobwebs
it dozes on gates
it lingers on apples
deciding their fates
Swallows rehearse
their farewell song
the day feels borrowed
the night too long
Here in the hedgerow
where shadows run
I warm my hands
on late summer sun

02.09.2025 07:15 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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06.07.2025 11:16 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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05.07.2025 21:51 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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05.07.2025 18:12 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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05.07.2025 12:21 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Black Bart—Pembrokeshire’s most rakish export and proof that even cardigan wearers may harbour piratical leanings.

A toast then, to Bartholomew Roberts: scourge of the shipping lanes and pioneer of impractically lacy cuffs at sea.

Let's raise a chipped mug of something questionably amber and murky

18.05.2025 11:38 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Woken at dawn by what I assumed was a celestial trumpet heralding the end times. Turned out to be Mrs Tappley’s ferret getting stuck in her euphonium again.
Postman handed me a parcel addressed to ‘The Unknowable One (Care of Potting Shed)’. Contents: a single radish & a note that read ‘Soon.’

13.05.2025 16:47 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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The Eve of St. Pegrin’s Wiggle

Ah, Friday! That most wobbly of weekdays, when the sky smells faintly of nettle wine and burnt hope, and one can almost hear the sigh of the village as it collectively decides not to finish anything important before Monday.

02.05.2025 08:44 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Beltane Blessings from me and the mysteriously smouldering gnome by the pond

01.05.2025 10:24 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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This morning while tending to my ceremonial boots, an event transpired. A horse galloped across the garden, adorned in my late aunt’s nightdress and carrying a basket of milk teeth. It neighed in Latin before disappearing near the compost pile, which now exudes the aroma of printer ink and betrayal.

30.04.2025 10:14 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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29.04.2025 08:57 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0