Matt B

Black and white photo of a man, walking away from the camera, his hands folded behind his back. He strolls on a pier, the ocean in the background.

March 11, 2011. Santa Monica Pier. One of my favorite photos of Hubz.

Hubz says, "No one cruises anymore, it's all online. Even the park or the woods requires an app."

"Hanky code has been replaced with emojis."

Matt B stands nude inside his home, raising his right hand in a wave toward the camera while his left hand rests against his chest. He looks directly at the camera, and the word “Wednesday” appears in cursive text across the lower part of the image, with a wooden floor and an open door visible in the background.

👋

Kitty fur + dry winter air = ⚡⚡

I want you to know that someone cares. Not me. But someone.

🌈

Once again reminding you all that the Ides of March is a scam holiday invented by Big Dagger to sell more daggers

Some days, I welcome the robot takeover.

A four-panel quiz-style image features variations of a geometric abstract painting, likely in the style of Kazimir Malevich’s Suprematism. Each version contains the same arrangement of black, yellow, red, blue, and green shapes but is rotated differently. The panels are labeled A, B, C, and D in red text, inviting the viewer to determine the correct orientation of the artwork.

One last fun one from the #ArtInstitute.

This painting was hung high—not eye level. Kazimir Malevich’s "Painterly Realism of a Football Player" (1915) defies expectations, even in display. With no fixed orientation, there’s no wrong way to hang it. What feels right to you: A, B, C, or D?

I thought it was mandatory in New England

Naked Matt B stands beside a couch, gently petting an orange cat resting on the back cushion while looking down at her. The room has beige walls with a framed picture and a floor lamp in the background.

Good morning, Pekoe

Open cardboard box containing several small wrapped items covered in bright blue mesh fabric with metallic red foil accents and tied with blue ribbon bows. Orange tissue paper lines the top, and a white tag with a barcode is visible on the right side.

On a dark wooden table sit three assistive items: a blue box labeled “10X Hands Free Magnifying Glass with 36 LED Lights” (model Q-86) featuring a photo of a man wearing a neck magnifier, a deck of Bicycle “E-Z-See LoVision” playing cards, and a package labeled “Braille Stickers – Bump Dots For Visually Impaired,” with colorful raised dots visible through the clear window and a barcode sticker attached.

My brother thinks he is SO funny. Belated birthday gift. 🙄

An older man with short gray hair and a beard sits cross-legged on a kitchen floor wearing red glasses, a white graphic T-shirt, green patterned pajama pants, and dark socks. He holds a small cat toy on a string in one hand while a gray cat reaches toward it, with wooden cabinets and a white oven visible behind them.An older man with short gray hair and a beard sits cross-legged on a kitchen floor wearing red glasses, a white graphic T-shirt, green patterned pajama pants, and dark socks. He holds a small cat toy on a string in one hand while a gray cat reaches toward it, with wooden cabinets and a white oven visible behind them.

Just two grown gentlemen

Matt B takes a selfie in front of Georges Seurat’s famous painting, *A Sunday on La Grande Jatte*, displayed in a museum. He has a neutral expression, a closely trimmed beard, and is wearing a plaid jacket over a black sweater with a geometric pattern. The text overlay at the bottom of the image provides details about the artwork, describing its pointillist technique and large size.

A framed painting of Vincent van Gogh’s *Self-Portrait* (1887) hangs on a museum wall. The portrait features van Gogh’s piercing green eyes, reddish beard, and expressive brushstrokes in vibrant hues of blue, orange, and brown. A text overlay at the bottom describes the painting’s intensity and asks what van Gogh might have been seeing.

Georgia O’Keeffe’s massive painting *Sky Above Clouds IV* (1965) hangs high on a museum wall, depicting an endless horizon of soft, rounded clouds in a blue sky. A man dressed in black walks up a grand staircase beneath it, emphasizing the scale of the artwork. A text overlay at the bottom describes the painting’s inspiration from flight and its immense size, which was once too large for a museum’s doors.

Matt B takes a selfie in front of Grant Wood’s iconic painting *American Gothic*, displayed in a museum. He gives a subtle smirk while the two solemn figures in the artwork—a stern farmer holding a pitchfork and a woman beside him—stare ahead with their famously serious expressions. A text overlay at the bottom reflects on the painting’s rural themes and humorously notes that the figures don’t look thrilled to see him.

🎨🌳☀️
🎭🖌️🎨
☁️✈️🌅
🌾🏡👩‍🌾

So far, I’m unimpressed with Year 46. To date: lower back pain, poor eyesight, and now random respiratory congestion. 🤧

Taking a break from all the Christian art...

Giambologna's "Hercules & Antaeus": okay, yes, we all know what I saw first. 👀 But the more I gazed, the more I appreciated the elegance of their struggle—ballet movement frozen in bronze.

Kids today will never know what it is to flip to the TV Guide channel and cry out in agony as the channel's listing you wanted to see scrolls out of view right at that moment.

As validating as my recent eye exam was, it’s also made me hyper-aware of my eyesight throughout the day. I’ve been weirdly impatient for my glasses to arrive, just to see what suddenly feels easier.

Matt B in a plaid jacket and hoodie stands in a museum, glancing sideways with a skeptical expression. Behind him, a classical marble statue of a nude, headless figure is prominently displayed, with its curvaceous form drawing attention. The humorous caption suggests the man is struggling to focus on the art for reasons he pretends not to understand.

Ancient Greek red-figure amphora displayed in a museum, featuring detailed illustrations on a clay background. The scene depicts a group of robed figures engaged in conversation, possibly representing a mythological or ceremonial event. The vase has a classic shape with two handles, a narrow neck, and intricate decorative patterns along the rim.

Ancient Greek funerary stele displayed in a museum, carved from weathered stone. The relief features a farewell scene, where two figures, possibly representing the deceased and a loved one, exchange a solemn gesture. The upper portion of the stele is decorated with ornate floral and scroll motifs, and the inscription bears the name 'Eurynomes,' preserving his memory over two millennia later.

🏛️

Honestly I love seeing all your kink expressions and how they blend. 💜

Matt B rests his chin against his hand, partially covering his mouth, while looking at the camera with a thoughtful expression. He has a shaved head, short beard, wears a dark T-shirt, a silver ring, and a black smartwatch with a perforated band, with window blinds visible in the background.

Guess who has a mild astigmatism?
👉 🤓 👈

Matt B takes a low-angle selfie indoors, wearing a black cap and a pastel blue and pink hoodie with raised embroidered lettering and cartoon graphics on the front. He looks directly at the camera with a neutral expression, with a drop ceiling visible above him.

I definitely guessed some of those eye exam letters 😅

My boss says I may have rolled them out of my head 🙄

Oh whew

A medical waiting room with perforated metal chairs sits against a beige wall, with open doorways leading to exam rooms. A green sign labeled “2 Pre-Test Room” hangs above one doorway, and the word “Wednesday” appears in script text overlaid near the bottom of the image.

Getting my peepers checked for the first time in... ever? 🤓

Same. 🙋

Naked Matt B stands indoors wearing Mardi Gras bead necklaces, with a colorful carnival mask and jester hat graphic over his eyes. A bright “Carnaval” sticker with flames and a cartoon figure covers his lower body, while a doorway and teal wall are visible in the background.

Show me your beads.

Matt B stands indoors holding a red box labeled “PACZKI” in large white letters. He wears a patterned green shirt and looks at the camera with a slight smirk.

Happy Paczki Day! ⚜️ 🇵🇱

Yayayayay! ♥️ 🎉 ♥️

Matt B stands indoors wearing a black cap and an open red button-down shirt, with chest hair visible. He has a short beard, red gemstone earrings, and looks at the camera with a neutral expression. Text overlaid on the image reads “JACKHAMMER” and “Chicago, IL,” with decorative lines on either side.

Finally thawed

Right? I told hubby the same thing, we should go to the beach. I'mma call up the nude camp and tell them to let me in