open.substack.com/pub/unapolog...
15.06.2025 14:42
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My queer icon? Scarlett Johansson in Lucy. There I said it, fight me.
When you have a natural bond to someone. No coordination of outfits ever occurred.
Starting off long weekends with all the sass.
Je pense donc je suis.
Be it presenting to my coworkers as female, or going out in public alone as full femme. Sometimes these thoughts win out, but I only feel like I've lost Emma or sold myself short.
So to future Emma, the questions at the top…
I've learned to observe this battle, to turn dysphoria into euphoria. I've come to understand my male body dysmorphia as actually the symptom of being assigned to the wrong side of the binary. This is not always an easily surmounted hill.
Even though I have been hormonally stable for some time now, I encounter these active battles between male and female, and something else. I/we balance this internal dialogue everyday.
Dysphoria or dysmorphia are unpredictable beasts. They arrive and depart, often without obvious reasons. Is it social, medical, or even political? Is it natural hormone absorption fluctuations? I often refer to myself as “we”, as something like I refer to a group of 2 or more people.
I've read the risks, I understand the after-care. There are things I will have to do, for all the remaining days of my life, to support the proper outcome of this decision.
It's not a decision though. It was decided a long time ago. This is my time.
Maybe a moment of doubt, not zero. I look at myself in the mirror, and the most feminine version of me that I could have ever imagined is right there staring back.
I think about surgery a lot. At least recently, because it's getting close. In a healthy way, I ponder things. I ask myself, is this the path? Is this where I want to go? What is the endgame?
Happy Tuesday, as seen elsewhere in Iceland and Substack.
"I intended to travel alone, to a brand new place, free of the rules and expectations, to travel as solo Emma."
I met someone in my dreams the other night. She was young and beautiful. She smiled at me.
I was looking in a mirror.
As seen on substack. This is the final archival bit, it's all live from here.
Stay sexy. Emma.
open.substack.com/pub/unapolog...
Happy Friday, my loves.
Happy Friday.
Just because.
It's got to be more about strategically voting against PP this round.
Go OG Star Trek or go home.
"Early on I had to face a powerful question. What will be the cost of being queer or true to oneself? Will I lose all my friends? Will I be shunned by the public? Will I die alone?"...
Happy Friday.
Prior to transitioning, if I ever made disparaging comments against yoga pants? I unashamedly retract those statements. Yoga pants are life.
Marinara from scratch, with Italian sausage, spaghetti.
