Paperback Paradise

Photo of a vhs for an episode of the Animorphs tv show that features a boy transforming into a dog. Titles and copy read GOD’S PUNISHMENT NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT the inner thoughts of the child float around his transformation, they read: What’s happening? Sure could go for some dog shit I eat dog shit now? What did I do? Wish I was eating dog shit right now A promotional graphic proclaims A boy turns into a dog and eats dog shit for lying Part 1 the sins of children series

Back cover copy for NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT SOME PEOPLE NEVER EAT DOG SHIT... SOME DO. God can see and hear everything so when Kevin and his friends decide to watcha PG-13 movie when they were supposed to be studying God knew he would have to punish Kevin since it was his house. The next day before school Kevin suddenly morphs into a dog and runs outside to look for dog shit to eat. He eats all the dog shit in the neighborhood and the neighbors give this hungry boy a round of applause for cleaning up the place. But when he morphs back into Kevin they are all disgusted. They call him Dog Shit Boy and tell him to stay the hell away from their dogs' asses. Every few hours Kevin turns back into a dog to eat more dog shit. The only way Kevin will be free of God's curse is to figure out what he's being punished for, but if he can't do that before midnight he'll eat dog shit for the rest of his life! THIS TAPE CONTAINS THE EPISODES "DOG SHIT BOY" AND "GOD'S GUN" PARTS I AND II PRODUCED BY PAPERBACK PARADISE A DIVISION OF PAPERBACK PARADISE ENTERTAINMENT

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

You can enjoy all 40 Paperback Paradise bookmarks for just $25 🐴 here’s half of ‘em 🦕 paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/ever...

Vintage book cover featuring a close up photograph of a woman’s eye in a hypnotizing gaze. Copy and title read Could I Borrow Four Thousand, Three Hundred, and Sixty-Seven Dollars? FOR NO SPECIFIC REASON "Reasons are like raisins - no one likes them." A CONVINCING NOVEL BY YORE FRENDE

really good book that everyone should read right now

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Some of these need an update for sure

Thank you Cabbage Boyo!

Photo of various paperback paradise bookmarks and postcards

The BEST of Paperback Paradise 💕 9 postcards, 5 bookmarks, just $10 🙂 paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/best...

Windsor condensed 😎

Photo of a T with a drop shadow that is squiggly and tall as if it were a g-g-g-ghost!

if the drop shadow is doing this your book is haunted

Red Rose City for this one

Romance

Science fiction book cover featuring a tired looking woman with a tweaked out alien standing way too close to her face. Text reads: "Hello Girl." Did YOU Like THOSE MEMES THAT I SENT YOU Volume 17 in a series of new messages React to every one of them. Enjoy the memes and laugh. Smile when the meme is done. What I like is funny and i am funny by proxy. by P. Lease Approve

book

Photo of a romance book cover featuring an illustration of a man embracing a woman from behind, he (sexually) caresses her belly where presumably a baby is incubating inside. Copy and title read She grew one A Third Tit By Debra Barrested

Photo of the back cover of ‘So I had my penis surgically removed and launched into space’ which features this synopsis: SURCICALLY SEVERED ... and rocketed away went Frank's dismembered dick as he said sayonara to his sack and balls as well (they got the whole thing off with a laser). For the first time in his life, Frank was unencumbered by the burdens of cock - free to run around as fast as he wanted. "I just don't understand what they're going to discover with your surgically removed penis floating around in zero gravity," said his girlfriend in mourning. This wasn't about discovery, it wasn't even about science - this was about having your penis surgically removed and launched into space, is that so hard to understand? After he told his father the news he watched his dad walk into the ocean and drown. He didn't get it either - and he has a penis! When the spacecraft carrying Frank's cack crashes into an asteroid a new celestial event begins. The world watches as a new planet is formed and Frank is vindicated: having your penis surgically removed and launched into space is a GOOD IDEA. A PAPERBACK PARADISE BOOK PRINTED IN A.S.S.

Photo of a vintage science fiction book. The illustrated cover depicts a rocket taking off next to a man standing with his arms folded on top of a collage of images including a nude woman with her eyes closed and the head of an old man who appears sorrowful. Text and title read: SO I HAD MY PENIS Surgically Removed and Launched into Space Everyone is really disappointed BY SIMON HASNO

Vintage book cover featuring a photo of the US Capitol building. Text reads Incredible Locations TO ENJOY A HEART ATTACK a Paperback Paradise Guide 1978-79 by Hergman Fundion

Paperback Paradise Bookmarks Vol 5 Pick up where you left off with these handy bookmarks!

Yes this is an old design I updated, available here (still need to update the photo): paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/pape...

Photo of a bookmark sitting atop a manga featuring a buff and powerful man (Raoh from Fist of the North Star) holding out his palm. Bookmark features a cute little pink mouse type creature with big ears who is smiling inside some kind of marble prison. Carved into the marble are these words: I have trapped God inside this bookmark and bestow his imprisonment unto you Do not let this maniac out!

Jewel case cover for a budget pc game about horse riding. Cover features a girl on a horse with the horse being the primary focus. Title and copy text read: Make it Look Like a HORSE ACCIDENT A blue ribbon features the text: play as a horse! Hurt children! Pc cd rom logo reads: NO COPS - NO PROBLEMS ESRB rating logo reads: HELL YEAH I HATE THEM KIDS

found in a stack of books

Photo of a bookmark feature a pensive horse with its mane flowing in the wind. Text reads If someone tries to move your bookmark I will destroy them

Photo of a postcard featuring a vintage children’s book with an illustration of a man strapped to a stretcher being loaded into an ambulance while two kids and their dog watch. Title of the book and copy read SHOULDN’T HAVE INSULTED MY DOG Told you my good boy would whoop your ass By Hemorgg Simpdin

Today’s the last day for deals

Fantasy book cover featuring warriors holding their swords, a man riding a cat beast in the foreground holds an extra long sword up. Cover copy and title read: THE ONLY QUEST THAT MATTERS WHO GOT THE LONGEST SWORD? THIS IS NOT A PENIS THING IT'S ABOUT SWORDS By PIRTH RASSLEMIN review blurb: Not about holding your own penis. Realms Magazine WARNING: NOT ABOUT A MAN'S PENIS

books

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Photo of a postcard Featuring the Book cover for the novelization of AMADEUS, cover text reads: DID YOU FOR REAL JUST BREAK MY GARFIELD COLLECTOR'S MUG FROM MCDONALD'S? A TRAGEDY BY SADDENED FREN THAT WAS MY FAVORITE MUG SO MANY GOOD TIMES HAVING A DRINK ALL GONE NOW

You can get all 45 Paperback Paradise postcards for just $25 🎄sale ends Friday ☃️ shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/ever...

Photo of a bookmark featuring a poor drawing of an anime guy with the text I’m a manga maniac! And I’m lonely!

Photo of a postcard featuring a paperback paradise book cover which features a giant hand pointing a gun through the open door of a house and at the reader. Copy and title read He bought a piece Cause he’s done with peace GOD’S GUN Say your prayers…

this could be your Christmas card

Photo of a postcard featuring the paperback paradise book The Alien That Sucked Me Dry, additional copy reads: a male alien blew me and it was so good I’m gay now

Back of The Alien That Sucked Me Dry featuring the following written message: Hey dad, this happened to me!! See you at Christmas…

Now you can mail this postcard to your dad 👽 paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/pape...

Sale runs through next Friday - who doesn’t need 40 bookmarks?

Photo of two bookmarks First bookmark features some beautiful orange tulips and reads “go to hell if you don’t like books” Second bookmark features an illustration of a man wielding a knife with folded arms and reads “Ever wonder what happens after death? Move my bookmark and find out”

It was a nice morning for taking photos

Photo of two paperback paradise bookmarks - first one features a photo of an hourglass on top of a dusty tome and reads One of these days I’m going to finish that other book - it’s not my fault they made two good books Second bookmark features of photo of a frog and reads Need to remember dis page? FROGETTABOUTIT I’ll have my boys look after your spot Ey yo I’m in the freaking mafia

Enjoy all 40 Paperback Paradise bookmarks for just $20 ☃️ shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/ever...

Photo of a cookbook for Thanksgiving that features a roast turkey, turkey wraps, and turkey kebabs on the cover. Copy and title read YUMMIE! IT'S... FAMILY DAY OF FLESH FIFTY SCARY RECIPES TO MAKE YOUR FAMILY HAPPY THEIR MOUTHS WILL BE RIPPING. FLESH AND SMILING Review blurb reads: What you will do to turkey body will disturb you. Attributed to Traumatized Dinner Lover BY SICKOS WHO DO THIS FOR FUN

😭🙏