Jake Prizant

Day one of becoming a viral Bluesky sensation

The reviews are in!!!!!

Gotta keep your eyes out for this sort of thing

My manager won’t give me tables until I say “he’s lowkey thick with it” to his face

Wonder if Shakespeare ever had to go to his serving job and was like “From my cozy bed untimely ripped” or something

Miss you

Can’t wait to figure out who to follow on here. So far everyone is annoying and talking about books and shit.

All dressed up for my first date! I am meeting her at Jimmy John’s to eat sandwiches. She told me to bring $200 cash and that she likes Netflix stand up comedy and crypto. Seems super chill. Will report back.

Wait literally same

I thought this was kinda funny. Maybe I’ll try harder next time! Thanks guys!

How do you get likes on here? Do I have to be smart or is it allowed to be more dumb with it? Gonna try everything. Thanks in advance

Moaned too loud during my massage :/

If someone wanted to get me this is exactly how it would be done

As a guy who sells wallet sized photos of wives, I love wars

Looks like chocolate chip cookies?.. sure, fine I’ll give you that. But tastes like them too? You have got be fucking shitting me if you think I’m gonna believe that absolute fucking bull crap.

My wife thinks I like breakfast in bed, but in reality I hate it 😂

I hate that I went to liberal arts school because I know more about banksy than I do about the American justice system

Why is everyone on this app talking about the library

I know I’m depressed when I keep my tab open at subway

i have won the junior panthers kids club shuffle

Sour knot

Woke up and decided to send 2,000 Instagram reels to my co workers. Happy Friday yall 🙏

ISO little guy to sit on my shoulder to tell me to do good. I have one little guy already and he’s been telling me to do some absolutely messed up stuff.

I pray this app fixes everything that is bad