Are your shorts short 👀

Happy Saturday

I’m in Florida

Those eyes

Call me when you hit $60

New passport photo just dropped

Ethiopian!!

I may be depressed as hell but at least I had a cronut for the first time today and god damn that was good

Starting Lexapro tomorrow watch this space!!!

Thank you for reining in my thirst

I’ve never heard of this man til now but I’m barking at my phone

I would like to go one year without a potential major medical event that causes me to panic beyond belief

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Snip snip

Twinks are very dark-sided so this tracks

Will be dreaming about this dip for months to come

I haven’t been this excited about a new artist since I was in high school so I’m not ashamed to say I yelled when Chappell won

Haven’t interacted with another human in 8 days

The depressive urge to disappear off the face of the earth for a bit is too real

I’m sorry you’re going to be given a child that sounds terrible honestly

I just recoiled

Kelly’s roast beef logo

Was it on sale

I-2 my beloved

Am I supposed to start saying this

Hiiiiii

Just because you can’t stand the sight of fat boys doesn’t mean you can body shame me Paul!

Alt 👀

@ me next time you ornery old man!

Knowing you’ve been turning your data over to China all this time is oddly satisfying