Michel Lee Garrett

Cackling actually has to be from the region of Cackle otherwise it’s just sparkling laughter

Bad Bunny’s halftime show resonated with me because it was a celebration of joy — and celebrating the joy of marginalized people is always a revolutionary act

How your email finds me

The Hard Word crime fiction blog reads a lot of crime, mystery, and thriller fiction.

So imagine my surprise they named *my book* the best crime fiction collection of 2025.

Wow.

I'm touched by how much people resonate with my weirdo mix of stoner noir, action, comedy, and social commentary.

*through tears* the last time is now

Bill Die the Kill You Guy
BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

At a friend’s house

Asked their Alexa to play Chappell Roan

It played mostly Taylor Swift

Pretty sure this is homophobic?

Thanks so much to the Mid-State Literacy Council for inviting me to read from my collection Born a Ramblin’ Man and deliver my lecture “Crime Fiction as Social Critique: Justice, Injustice, and the Fine Art of Murder” as part of their annual book fair!

Happy November 14 to all who celebrate

😭🙌😭🙌😭🙌

There’s so much to be done for queer and trans justice, equality, and liberation.

We’ve lost so much ground in the past year.

But we haven’t lost this.

I was in bed before ten and I’m still so tired this is bullshit

For the love of god, get out there and vote

What is this feeling, so sudden and new?

Rooplooce oooll yoor soollaboolls wooth poompkoon spooce

I was just thinking of Frank Black screaming TAAAAAAAAME

(Great all-timer album, but The Cure’s Disintegration also came out in 1989, so….)

I don’t know, I always thought the music was kinda… TAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE

What fresh hell is this

TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS

Honored to have helped co-organize and speak at a march and rally on the PA capitol yesterday

This was a work of partnership and solidarity - including Centre LGBT+, PA Youth Congress, UDTJ, TransYOUniting, the PA Trans Equity Project, and the ACLU.

Together, we win.

Rocky Horror at Millbrook Playhouse— let’s do the time warp againnnnn!!!!

Equal Rights, Equal Care: Join LGBT+ organizations from across PA to march on our state capitol in Harrisburg this Sunday, Oct. 26 to demand our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of queer and trans happiness.

Learn more: linktr.ee/erecpa

NO ONE TALK TO ME, IM BUSY

Diamonds are a femmes best friend

All hat, no cattle

BUT 🤔 THEN 🤪 YOU 🤟 TAKE 👦😥 MY 💁🏽 75% CHANCE 🚫 OF WINNING 😎 IF WE 👥 WAS TO GO 😜 1 ➗ ON 🎢 1 👍👱 AND THEN 😠 ADD ➕ 66 2/3 👔 %. I 📺 GOT 🤤 A 141 2/3 👔 CHANCE 😱🙅 OF WINNING 🏆 AT SACRIFICE! 😈💪 SENIOR 👴🏼 JOE?THE NUMBERS 🔢 DON'T 🚫🚫 LIE 🤫 AND THEY 🥰 SPELL 💪 DISASTER 😱 FOR 💯🏽 YOU 👈 AT SACRIFICE! 🌽

BUT 🏾 I, 😀😀 I 👥 GOT ❌ A 66 2/3 👔 CHANCE 😱🙅 OF WINNING 🥇🏅 CAUSE 💋💋 KURT ANGLE 📐 KNOWS 🧠 HE 😺 CAN'T 🙅‍♂️😶 BEAT 💓 ME 👨‍🦼 AND HE'S 😮 NOT 🔕 EVEN 🌃 GONNA 💬👋 TRY! 💪😥 SO SAMOA 🇲🇵 JOE 💪🏼 YOU 👈🏽 TAKE 👊 YOUR 👉 33 1/3 🎮 CHANCE 🙅 MINUS ➖ MY 🙋🏻‍♀️ 25% CHANCE 🚫 AND YOU 👈 GOT 👏 8 🕣 1/3 😏😏 CHANCE 🌜 OF WINNING 🥇🏅 AT SACRIFICE. 😈💪

BUT 🙋 I'M 💯🦆 A GENETIC FREAK 😂😜😝 AND I'M ☝️ NOT 🚫 NORMAL! 😐 SO YOU 😱🤯😳 GOT 🙈 A 25% AT BEST 🌛 AT BEAT 👊 ME! ✋ AND THEN 😪 YOU 👈🏼 ADD ➕ KURT ANGLE 📏 TO THE MIX, 🥄 YOU 👉🙋 THE CHANCES OF WINNING 😎 DRASTIC GO 🦟 DOWN! 🤗 SEE 👀 THE 3 😩 WAY 💅 AT SACRIFICE 😈💪 YOU 😊 GOT 🉐 A 33 1/3 💋 CHANCE 🚫 OF WINNING. 🥇🏅

YOU 👩🏽‍✈️👩🏽‍✈️✈️ KNOW 😭 THEY 👬 SAY 😳 ALL 💯 MEN 👨 ARE CREATED 🔨🎨 EQUAL. BUT 😜 YOU 💃🏻 LOOK 👀 AT ME 👀 AND YOU 👉 LOOK 🧐 AT SAMOA 🇼🇸 JOE 💪🏼 AND YOU 😊 CAN 😝 SEE 👀 THAT 😐 STATEMENT IS NOT 🪥 TRUE! 💯 SEE 👀👀 NORMALLY 🐭 IF YOU 😊 GO 🦟 1 🎄 ON 😎 1 🎄 WITH ANOTHER 2️⃣ WRESTLER YOU 🤟 GOT 👏 A 50/50 CHANCE 😱🙅 OF WINNING! 🥇🏅

How can a nonbinary person become wealthy?

With the gold in them/their hills!