More and more it seems that my comedy career has suffered due to my daily schecule not putting me in a position to encounter baristas all that often.
11.03.2026 11:47
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More and more it seems that my comedy career has suffered due to my daily schecule not putting me in a position to encounter baristas all that often.
If I were Starmer and I really wanted to make a splash at PMQs, I'd load the Mandelson Files into t-shirt cannons and have Black Rod et al come in and fire them all over the chamber like it's a break in play at an American sport.
Locked away under Jim Henson's mansion there's a huge vault full of 'demo' Muppets
[Ad]: you've been doing everything wrong forever, you chimp. Here's a charmless AI cartoon taking a supplement that will sort it all out. Our company will not exist in a year.
When I was a lad the arrival of a viral sandwich in shops would be cause for concern.
Does the Pry Mincer agree that Eusa is within his rights to bring about the Master Chaynjis?
Keir Starmer: Yesse
Brain: the death, destruction, callousness and barbarism on display every day are overwhelming.
But also...
VARgaret Lanterman
Sent the work experience boy out for a tin of 'elbow juice' and now I can't show my face on the building site any more
Pouring myself another coff of cuppy and getting down to the world's dumbest work
Yeah, that's the stuff
Writing a new show: 10% analysing material to ascertain common themes and throughlines, 90% exorcising useless mind-worm phrases such as 'some people bonk I'm thinkers'
Well done to whoever snapped that picture of Andrew in the car - he's crying now. Or at least he would be, had he not suffered that catastrophic adrenal overdose in the Gulf...
[Spotting some shit on the pavement]: now that's vintage Keir
BREAKING: Defiant Starmer changes state from vapour to 'viscous, determined' liquid - Powell
Just to save time: both the Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, and incoming Prime Minister, Wes Streeting, have my full confidence and should be allowed to get on with the job they were elected/unelected to do - making Britain children future together now.
Sunday operating at full capacity
Tough few weeks incoming for Ned Pointsman, who appears to've dined at the Epstein residence on a number of occasions
Nonsense!
Remembering Geoff Hoon (he's still alive, I am just remembering him). Any of my Hoonheads got some Hoonstories?
TROY CLUB! Sunday 8th February! The Black Heart, Camden! With amazing headliner PAT CAHILL & an incredible supporting lineup featuring Richard Todd, @charlievmartin.bsky.social, Sami Abu Wardeh, and me (Leslie, hi!). MC @andrewoneillcomedy.bsky.social.
TICKETS: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/troy-club-...
Over on instagram comics are, for some reason, sharing gags via the three-panel collage format at an increased rate of late.
Kent Cricket is using the Winkie's Diner scene from Mulholland Drive to announce Fred Klaassen's contract extension, but Fred doesn't appear at the back of the diner. A criminal missed opportunity.
Is this good?
Had a lovely day at the London Wetland Centre. Cheers.
Monster CEO increasingly concerned that if society collectively refuses to feed monster it will not have the strength to destroy anything
A special birthday shoutout for my beloved lads - four today and blissfully unaware of it.
After Mark Carney's bold speech standing up to US hegemony, I'm delighted that I will finally be able to wear the Davos lapel pin I picked up from a market for £2 with pride. Viva Davos - it's good again! Hoping for a similar reprieve for my Bilderberg mug.
'The Poke? It's your cousin The Prod - you know that new top 10 funniest skeets of the week you were looking for...'
sorry i only drink vimto for men. thats the one with the gun on the packaging
They call it 'blue clock' (/'dial' dependent on model)