Ms. Andry ⚢☭

I mean that sounds perfectly reasonable tbh.

Stargazers are excited to witness the upcoming HETERO MOON, an ultrarare celestial event that turns all bisexuals straight for 24 hours. If you've ever wanted to know what a bisexual in your life would seem like if they were straight, now is the only chance in your lifetime. And I will be a lesbian.

if nobody is touching me rn does that mean im jacked on? am i constantly jacking on if im not actively jacking off?

asking the bottom surgeon for a to-go box

Fuck yes

subnetting your drone girl by beating the IP mask into her

I GET KNOCKED DOWN
I DONT GET UP AGAIN
I REALLY LIKE IT ON THE GROUND

I STAY KNOCKED DOWN
I DONT GET UP AGAIN
ITS REALLY COMFY ON THE GROUND

Hovel Hurler: Time to show these douscebags my real power (throws a big tree branch at a guys car)

D in front of a sign at a Wegmans grocery store that says “Asian”

Asian

The type of shower I rarely take because it ends up being a 2 hour affair lmao. I have to plan specific days just for washing my hair bc it takes so long.

A reminder that "For sale: baby shoes, never worn" isn't the shortest horror story ever written, it's actually "Specifies a tri-state Boolean value" written by the esteemed author Microsoft .NET Documentation.

Tremendously happy for InCase. It's VANISHINGLY rare for long-form webcomics, particularly those of the scope, quality, and ambition of Alfie, to make it all the way to the finish line. It's a mammoth, backbreaking labor of love, and InCase deserves all the flowers you can give him.

Epilogue 1 Visit the post for more.

Alfie chapter 19 is out! You can read it here:

buttsmithy.com/archives/com...

This is it folks! An end of an era. After twelve years Alfie had finally been defeated, by me.

Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, "Fat Shithead Disrespected my Rōnin." [spotlight tracks me as the top half of my body slides off of the bottom half]

I HAVE NO DICK AND I MUST PISS!!

Kick streamers are like modern day ronin except instead of wandering the land looking to hire out their blade to a daimyo they wander the same 10 city blocks in NYC and LA looking for women to sexually harass while taking experimental chinese peptides

marth of stewart

doing my part by pouring 15 gallons of crude in my asshole then marching across the arabian desert to jeddah

A woman in a mask Headline: Why Do Some People Still Wear Masks In 2026 And On A Completely Unrelated Note Why Is Everyone In The Office Sick Right Now Apart From The Guy In The Mask? Story from Jerk Wingley and Terramin Defishunsee Photo from Adobe

Why Do Some People Still Wear Masks In 2026 And On A Completely Unrelated Note Why Is Everyone In The Office Sick Right Now Apart From The Guy In The Mask?

Whom among us has not been in this exact situation

".. Girls, you do realise everyone can see you?"

i got a lot of personality for a bitch whose whole thing is getting mentally and physically broken

yeah I know everyone's taste differs, but when it comes to chunky vs smooth I think we all know the superior texture for girlcum

the nice lady at the new age shop gives me a crystal she promises will absorb negative energy. as soon as i touch it, it clouds over blood red and drops leaden to the ground. around me, every crystal in the shop begins to tint red in a wave. she still won't give me a discount

can't believe they're making me take buzzfeed quizzes to get a pussy

cum

My husband and | just received 13 traffic violations in the mail 2 of them were from STOP SIGNS. IS THIS A NORMAL OCCURRENCE IN DC?!?? Is there a lot of success in getting these things cancelled?! We just moved here and have been going with the flow of traffic! This is INSANE $1500 worth of infractio

i can't stand nextdoor but i think it's fascinating that out of 137 commenters about 120 are like "yeah it sucks to drive in dc" and the handful remaining are patiently explaining that the one weird trick to not getting tickets is to stop driving like an asshole

”boy”moding” is her way of killing herself. And it doesn’t even work. This is to be expected, as she follows female-characteristic suicide patterns.

important to know trans women because she can tell you things like the kind of loud hard music where they strum angrily is called "djent" because it sounds like "djent"