The Rascal King of Gregging

They can’t put Freddo on a fiver, because it’d be worth a tenner next week.

You have a nose ring, don’t you 🧐

Option 1: totally ignore it
Option 2: smear smear smear

Ohhh very dear.
The establishment are not going to like this.
Not at all, not one bit.
Oh very dear.
Let’s see them be totally normal about it.

The problem is they moved too slow in the hatchet job on Polanski.
They thought the Greens were completely irrelevant, and didn’t go in hard enough soon enough. It let him get a foothold in.
Now I’ve got my gay FIL politically active because of it. He didn’t have an opinion a year ago.

This one is such a nonsense. It was an article in the Sun.
Just ask them if they believe the reporting in that paper about Hillsborough, and they quickly shut the fuck up.

The spice must flow!

“The obese”?!
The?!
Fucking hell, I don’t even know what to say about that, and that’s before we even get on to tattoo shaming.
Quick, do dyed hair, nose rings and short fringes next.

“I infiltrated a gig”
Way to go.
Gods, I hate my MP. How can somebody be so daft?

Someone*
Ffs

I still reflexively say *meow* any time some mentions Sophie Ellis-Bextor, because of what now must be a 20 year old joke on Nevermind The Buzzcocks, when it was still on the BBC.
You can’t say shes a nobody, that’s just daft.
But way to infiltrate a charity gig. Well done you, “Agent Forstarter”.

Genuinely, who cares?

No offence taken. I’m a nobody.
I couldn’t list the amount of things that I could better spend my time on, that didn’t involve me personally.
There’s genuinely no reality that benefits in the author of Harry Potter interacting with me.
I’m dumb, she’s dumb, and it’s all dumb.

I want to point out how fucking mental it is that a billionaire actually thought about me, just some guy in Kent, a day later and doubled down on tweeting about me a second time actually is.
This is the behaviour of a crazy lady.
My own family don’t pay that much attention to me, let alone my tweets

Joanne Rowling noticing me.

Joanne Rowling checking back in on little old me a day later.

Of course, these are my top interactions with a celebrity, but technically didn’t get a block.
No, it was thousands of abusive tweets because I dared criticise her little pet MP.

James O’Brien blocked me for posting this, in response to a tweet.

Oh look at that, I was ill overnight and had to call out today.
Sure am glad everyone who cunted me off yesterday is capable and can do my end of the job, otherwise that would be awkward for shipments that need to be sent out.

I had time for him, untill his last book dedicated a whole chapter to how a man who never held power was partially responsible for “breaking Britain”
After that I started clocking his obsessive impulse to stick the boot in at any given opportunity.
A privately educated nepo baby of a tabloid journo.

Next book idea: “Why I’m Right, and all of you are stupid for not agreeing with me.”

It’s how they talk about Blair and Thatcher.
“The most effective election winning machines in history.”
Never mind the ruin that came from those governments. They won, and that’s all that matters.
So Starmer won this election, and they spend the next 5 years speculating about the next one.

It’s because he’s very sensible, and Starmer did the MOST important thing a politician can do. Win an election.
That’s their only benchmark.
Remember, the loony left cult of Corbyn are only mad that he won.
Nothing to do with the lies told to do so. The fact he got fewer votes is irrelevant. He WON.

If only someone would write a book on how not to be wrong, and how you can change your mind.
It’ll never catch on. Ho hum.

Great. FedEx haven’t pitched up to collect some shipments.
I’m going to get in the neck for that as well, aren’t I?
Oh well, this is why I print out all my pickup confirmations. At least I’ve got it in black and white that I did my part of the job.
The rest is very much outside of my control.

All of this is happening because Boss and OG spend half their days actively watching TV.
Boss is currently on S3 of HotD on his iPad in the office, while I've no idea what OG is watching, but his headphones in are why he's not listening to anything I have to say.

15 got delivered the other day, ahead of schedule.
So I had to send them back.
OG increased the order to 17.
2 were just delivered. So that's the extra 2.
Lots of 3 and 14 have been marked on the system as done.
I was not involved in any of this, and I'm getting yelled at about it.

Me: “hey, why is this order all screwy?”
OG: yes.
M: “… no I asked Why”
OG: what?
M: “order is for 15. I’ve got 2.”
OG: you shouldn’t, there should me more than that
M: “well I’ve got 2.”
OG: what does the delivery note say?
M, exasperated: “TWO!”
Boss: “he doesn’t know that! Answer him nicely!”
🤦🏻‍♂️

Ffs now I’m getting yelled at by the boss, because the other guy isn’t paying attention to me.

Reform UK really are so lucky.

For a party of eight MPs they have the UK’s biggest news broadcaster on retainer.

Here we see their political editor doing the job of a local newspaper reporter.

For Farage.

EIGHT MPs.

My gods, I'd forgotten that "Drake" costume.
Genuinely, what were they thinking?

Bah, always a jumpscare when you see your birthday.