A marathon runner in a full Batman costume called me a “punk bitch” when I cheered him on.

Saw a news story today about Torchy’s Tacos opening “high end locations” - pretty fancy for a place that started out as a food truck where I once found a tooth in my taco.

I know it’s hacky to say “Recession Indicator” to every example of society getting worse, but I’m seeing a LOT of regular cars with ads plastered on them.

Infected aggressive monkeys escaped

This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen

Poster for Altercation Comedy Fest November 5-8 - headliners include Neil Hamburger, Ben Roy, Monster Movie Mockery, Kristen Becker, Mo Alexander, Mishka Shubaly, Heels, Bailey Pope, Dante Powell, Jay Chanoine, Chad Opitz, Andy Iwancio, Bernard Bell, Larry Fulford, Brian Zeolla, English Matt, Josh McClane, Sari Beliak, Kyle Pogue

Coming this November to Kick Butt Coffee in Austin, Texas - get your passes at altercationcomedyfest.com

It makes me feel like a slob to say this, but Halal Guys needs to start giving out more than one napkin per order.

I can’t get @vizcomic.bsky.social in the US so maybe this has been done, but Sydney Sweeney’s Jean Genie would be a good one-off comic strip along the lines of Elton John’s Tarmac Con.

Azealia Banks had one minor hit about a decade ago, but she cultivated the much more important modern day skill of being rude online so she gets to be part of the discourse forever. Imagine if it was 2008 and we were all checking for Edwin McCain’s take on the independence of Kosovo.

I wouldn’t say it’s a good trend, but the other trend in live comedy is “racist crowd work” so in comparison I’m all for clowning.

Attention, porcine racists of America! Trump is importing South Africans to steal your jobs at the Racism Factory!

Without AI, how would we ever experience arguing with a loser online? Truly a game-changing technology.

The Pitt 2: The Return Of Doug Driscoll

Walked over to a new coffee place in my neighborhood and the barista asked “Do you want that for hereski or to goski?” and now I never want to come back.

Timothee Chalamet at the Oscars with a lovely tribute to M. Emmett Walsh in Blood Simple.

Heavyset white man at cumbia night.

Some guy in my neighborhood drives around in a Cybertruck with a gigantic white cowboy hat balanced on the dash. Easy there pardner, save some style for the rest of us.

I watched an ad encouraging production companies to film in Texas that was so obnoxious it made me fantasize about this state being broken up and filmmaking being outlawed for a generation.

Ticket sales for my horror themed barn dance The Amityville Hoedown have been anemic at best.

I like an underdog story so I’ll be rooting for Greenland.

If the US keeps talking about taking over Canada, Canada should start preemptively annexing states. Montana first, than North Dakota if they aren’t getting the message.

The nation’s unwholesome freaks are currently engaged in frantic calculations to figure out what time they can sneak out and see Nosferatu on Christmas Day.

I think the movie and book lists are genuinely him but I don’t think the music lists are.

To encourage confidence and sophistication in an unpretentious son

Sweaters For Your Oafish Lad

Title screen of the film The Brides Of Dracula in a cool font

Just want to share how cool the font for Hammer film The Brides Of Dracula is.

I saw a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt, bandana and pith helmet today. Honestly, a very strong look.

Can’t believe they are trying to make a senator look corrupt just because he has a house jammed full of unmarked bills and gold bars and big sacks with a dollar sign on them.

A woman in 157 AD telling her friends to ask their men how often they think about the Etruscan civilization.

Using secret illegal A.I. to create a version of Goodfellas where Layla is replaced with Alphaville’s Big In Japan.

Flyer for show Monster Movie Mockery at Queen Theatre Bryan TX on Aug 19

Useless self-promotion on an app with no followers? Don’t mind if I do!!! Monster Movie Mockery on August 19!

The Wenig brothers from the movie Uncut Gems

The Safdie Brothers are going to be working separately- luckily there are enough of these guys to go around.