Mattloaf

Jenga Ortenga from Weekday was in Iron Man 3? 🤯

I don't care what your job is, I can give you a handy. Imma jack off all trades.

Putting qtips in your ears is actually not bad for you if you're pure of heart and have never engaged in premarital

I'm gonna start whittling potatoes so I have something to show everyone asking about my starch art

At the age of 33 I've decided to try and draw things instead of of just doodling. Here's my attempt at a self-portrait that looks like a police sketch

I forgot to post here

Me trying to actually draw a real person

Cool to see this the day after a school shooting in your city 🙃

Gonna start posting these here in case TT gets taken away again

Tiktok was a sanctuary, a group therapy session, a comedy club, a music venue, a craft fair, a cooking class, and a vehicle for activism. Above all else, it was a place that accepted my unhinged bullshit. I will miss it terribly. This was my farewell post. #tiktok #tiktokrefugee #tiktokban

Welp, didn't even get til tomorrow

If you play #superautopets this week and use Axolotl, you're scum. Also I'm scum and will continue to be scum for the rest of the week

Being ugly is only cute if you're pretty. Pretty people are allowed to be ugly. Ugly people cease being ugly immediately.

I think I'm gonna teach myself how to use a gun. Not completely on my own, so I'll only be a semi-autodidact

"We're All Gonna Die" - The Cancellations (Animated Lyric Video) YouTube video by The Cancellations

Happy new year. I made this and it came out at midnight to provide the requisite vibes going into 2025: youtu.be/WeKqVMj7nMQ?...

My hubris is my undoing

When someone implies sweets, I infer a treat.

I would totally let a garbanzo bean on me

The school shooting was tragic, but after I heard about the shooter my brain went #womeninmalefields I probably need to get offline for a bit

Did anyone else's TikTok just... broke? I need to know if it's just me or if it's all of us

TikTok has a bug and won't open on my phone. I uninstalled, cleared data, cleared cache, but it won't work. I really hope it works by tomorrow for my one year DDP anniversary

For a guy like me, the song Slow Ride is just a regular ride.

Sorry I'm always late. I have a debilitating shambling addiction.