Real Talk Fur All

Text: "Have you ever wanted to learn about consent, masturbation, sexual anatomy, periods, healthy relationships, crushes, intimacy, and more? Check out Quickies! Our new series of short, fast, sex ed summaries. Read now on Scarleteen," beside two people looking up pensively.

The Quickies Series was born of our commitment to our tagline "Queer Sex Ed for All" and because we understand that in-depth and lengthy explanations may not be accessible or even preferred for all our users.🧵

So excited!! 🥳🎉🎊

For anyone rooming together at the con, here is RTFA's guide to making it the best time possible!
bsky.app/profile/real...

The cover of Austin's Furry Issues #0, with a logo over a pride flag printed with 'Hate Will Not Save Us'

Austin now has a monthly furry variety magazine, and it's free! If you'd like to see art and photos and more by the local community, check out our pilot issue!

tinyurl.com/Issue0PDF

440 folded and bundled zines on an illustrated table

Monday night our members helped fold 440 zines in preparation for TFF 2026!

Reflective Listening Reflective Listening is a validating response, and moves the conversation forwards in a productive manner. Simple rephrase what as said and, if possible, ask a question. Ex: "I'm always sad during the winter months." "It sounds like winter is a rough time for you. Is there a specific reason for that?" *"It sounds like..." "I hear..." "It looks like..." are great ways to start.

Yes and... Friends like feeling validated, respected, and heard. Avoiding negating statements helps them feel this way. * You don't have to sacrifice your truth to find something positive to say. ** If a disagreement is necessary, try starting the statement with "You might be right, but..." *** Ex.."Pokemon is the best!" "You might be right, but I never got into it. What other games do you like?"

No Keep your boundaries in mind! Do not agree to things that you don't want to do or don't believe in. Respecting yourself, your feelings, and your time helps to avoid resentment building on either (or both!) side(s).

Have Something To Say Communication is for building connection, sharing information, or causing action. Starting with an outcome in mind makes it easy for everyone involved to feel good about a conversation at the end!

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Talk Like a Friend Friendship Series What we say and how we say it can mean a lot to our friends!

'You' Questions Friends like to be asked! About their interests, their thoughts, their feelings. After all, they're the expert on all subjects 'them!' *Friends don't like it when assumptions or labels are applied to them instead of asking!

'I' Statements You are the expert on you, so start from what you know to be true! When we make statements about ourselves instead of about others, we avoid sounding accusatory. *"I think..." "I feel..." "I believe..." "I would like..."

Relating to Others It's common to want to share something you've been through as a way of expressing empathy and engagement with a friend, but this takes the focus off of that person and onto yourself. Instead of sharing your own experience, asking follow-up questions shows a genuine interest. *Things to say instead: "I relate to that so much!" "I feel your pain!" "Please, go on!"

What we say and how we say it can really matter, so our newest zine is on how to talk to friends!

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Some people find healing in having conversations with abusers or assailants. Scarleteen has resources that help people decide if, and how, they want to do that. This read can also be helpful if you’re supporting someone else who’s going through this.

Scarleteen is raising $40,000 to support the healthcare needs of staff and volunteers who do this vulnerable, crucial, intimate work. 204 people have donated $23k; please join them today and share. www.classy.org/campaign/scarl...

Close up of pony pumpkin

Close up of teeth smiling pumpkin

Close up of kitty shape pumpkin

Close up of kitty pumpkin

Close-ups of some of the pumpkins:

Avery, the RTFA mascot, stands in the kitchen next to an island full of pumpkins carved by RTFA members.

The pumpkins carved at RTFA's pumpkin carving night lit up in the dark.

Last night we broke a record for attendance with over 21 furs coming out to socialize and have fun carving pumpkins!

Nights like these are what make our special little community feel the most real. 🥰🎃😻🎃

We raised $150 for RTFA and found this one-of-a-kind souvenir a great home thanks to the wonderful donor that won our silent auction!

To find out more about RTFA, get involved on telegram, or donate to public education and community safety in the furry fandom:
linktr.ee/realtalkfurall

Consent is an important part of all relationships between two people. What makes it genuine?

What is Genuine Consent? Consent is communication. It is a two-way street, and means something different to everyone. Each person has their own communication styles and needs. What works for you or what has worked in the past might not be right for another person. Consent is not just for physical or romantic relationships, but for every relationship, every time.

Genuine Means Informed. Both parties need to know what to expect before things start happening Aware of potential risks - Activity, Personal, Health, etc. Includes limits, boundaries, starting and stopping points.

Genuine Means Sober. Both parties are in a clear state of mind and ordinary faculties. If planning to not be sober, consent comes before. Negotiating while inebriated is not genuine consent. *Includes being free of social pressures or coercive situations.

Genuine Consent (Zine F-02, Friendship Series)

Consent is an important part of all relationships between two people. What makes it genuine?

linktr.ee/realtalkfurall

Rtfa convention booth at ACFI with mascot Avery behind it.

ACFI 2025, our first convention booth for RTFA, was an amazing success! Thank you so much to everyone who stopped by to talk, take zines and resources, and donate for prints! Can't wait to hopefully do it all again in a few months at LSFC!

A picture of the Real Talk Fur All community aid booth at ACFI with Po in fursuit paws

Our ACFI booth is here! We'll be hanging out resource sheets for San Antonio, San Marcos, and Austin along with our community support zines from 10-6 every day!

Find us right across from the board game room.

Tomorrow is the first day of #ACFI2025! We could not be more excited over here. 🥳 Stop by our community support booth for zines, local resource information, and FUN!
@furryinvasion.bsky.social

A kitchen island covered in prints on trans and gay flags with hate will not save us and cat and mouse designs on them.

Two small tables covered in prints on trans and gay flags with hate will not save us and cat and mouse designs on them.

A messy desk covered in prints on trans and gay flags with hate will not save us and cat and mouse designs on them.

Sneak peek of the first batch of prints we'll be handing out at the booth! =^-^= #ACFI2025 @furryinvasion.bsky.social

Dare to Care! If you see someone who seems over intoxicated, check on them. *Help only as much as you are comfortable, and walk away if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Would they like your help? Can they find their friends? Do they need water or help getting back to their room? *Belongings can always be collected later, being safe and healthy comes first.

Alcohol Poisoning. Alcohol poisoning happens when a large quantity of alcohol is consumed in a short period of time, and can even be deadly. Signs to watch out for include: Vomiting; Passed out, or going in and out of consciousness; Slow breathing; Confusion; Clammy skin; Seizures.

When It’s an Emergency. In the event of alcohol poisoning, call 911 and get medical attention immediately. Do not leave the person alone, and make sure they are rolled onto their side or sitting up. Things that do NOT help include putting the person in a cold shower, giving them coffee, or letting them sleep it off.

It’s never a bad time to take a break and re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol. Ask yourself: Is a situation you feel like you need alcohol to be in a situation you really want to be in?

Alcohol and You. Parties and drinking sometimes go hand in hand. How can you stay safe so everyone has a good time?

Drinking 101. ‘One drink’ is 5oz wine, 12oz beer or 1.5oz of hard alcohol. Risk Reducers: Eating Food, Drinking Water, Sipping and Savoring your drink. Risk Increasers: Drinking rapidly, Empty stomach, Mixing alcohol with other substances. *Try to drink water between each alcoholic drink you consume.

Drunkenness. Most people reach intoxication after consuming 2 drinks in an hour. Effects start within 10 minutes, but peak about 1 hour after you drink on an empty stomach. *Wait for it before drinking more. Effects of Intoxication: Delayed Reactions, Lowered Inhibitions, Reduced Coordination, Impaired Judgement.

Take Care. A person’s reaction time and coordination deteriorate as their blood alcohol level rises. Even if a person is good at masking obvious symptoms of intoxication, their physical capabilities are compromised. In fact, people with a high tolerance are arguably more risky because it’s difficult for others to tell when they’re impaired.

Alcohol and You (Zine C-02, Convention Series)

Parties and drinking sometimes go hand in hand. How can you stay safe so everyone has a good time?

linktr.ee/realtalkfurall

8 Days Left Until @furryinvasion.bsky.social! 🎉🎉

RTFA is a Texas furry group about having fun, sharing community resources, and publishing educational zines. Look for our booth at #ACFI2025!

9 Days Left Until @furryinvasion.bsky.social! RTFA will be debuting our community information booth with local resources and zines to help YOU make #ACFI2025 your best con ever! See you there!

A table with two plates of Okonomiyaki and a bunch of folded zine pamphlets of community safety education for ACFI 2025

Our local meet last night was so much fun! We folded zines for #ACFI2025 and ate Okonomiyaki together. 💖

This is an amazing guide, #1 is great not just for homeless teens but for anyone that feels powerless and afraid as a queer person in the US and doesn't know where to start.

Rooming with new friends can be an exciting way to learn about one another! How do you make sure your space is safe and fun for all?

Communicate Ahead of Time. Who books the room? Who pays, how much, and when? Will there be parties, friends over, or anything else that might come as a surprise? Is anybody bringing anything potentially triggering? (Alcohol, other substances, adult items, etc.?) *Remember, everybody starts with a different idea of what a comfortable space is. Talk it out together, and if something makes you worried talk about it as soon as you feel it!

Communicate At the Con. Create a group chat for the room and use it to share who is in the room and when to know what the vibe will be like when you return! If you’re ever not sure if something will be okay, ask! If you think something will be okay and it isn’t, apologize. *Remember, everyone is here to have a good time, including you! Your wants and needs matter, and all your friends’ do too!

Be Responsible For Yourself. Do you get hangry? Bring food Do you need quiet time? Bring earplugs or headphones Do you have enough space for your belongings? Pack smart Do you need the bathroom first in the morning? Tell people! *Ask for what you need, and be ready to accommodate the needs of your roommates, too!

Rooming Together (Zine C-01, Convention Series)

Rooming with new friends can be an exciting way to learn about one another! How do you make sure your space is safe and fun for all?

linktr.ee/realtalkfurall

Genuine Means Enthusiastic. Both parties should feel enthusiasm. Agreement does not equal enthusiasm. Mumbling, looking away, frowning, being distracted: Consent may not be genuine. If these signals are unrelated, state enthusiasm clearly: “I enthusiastically consent.”

Genuine Means Explicit. Both parties should be as clear as possible about what they want. Check for understanding and recap if possible If consent is conditional, make sure the conditions are clear Yes > Sure, Uh-huh, I guess *Communication isn’t done when you deliver a message, it ends when you’re sure it’s understood.

When Consent is Violated. Mistakes happen. Communication is imprecise and no-one is perfect. If someone tells you they feel you violated their consent: Focus on that person’s feelings. Seek support elsewhere. Thank them for the bravery and respect of sharing that with you. Ask what they need. Listen to their answer, and follow through.

Ask Today: “If you felt like I violated your consent, what would you do?” Identify the signs and make a plan together. Assures you care and will respond with care when it happens. Helps your partner regonize their role in ensuring genuine consent on both sides.

Consent is an important part of all relationships between two people. What makes it genuine?

What is Genuine Consent? Consent is communication. It is a two-way street, and means something different to everyone. Each person has their own communication styles and needs. What works for you or what has worked in the past might not be right for another person. Consent is not just for physical or romantic relationships, but for every relationship, every time.

Genuine Means Informed. Both parties need to know what to expect before things start happening Aware of potential risks - Activity, Personal, Health, etc. Includes limits, boundaries, starting and stopping points.

Genuine Means Sober. Both parties are in a clear state of mind and ordinary faculties. If planning to not be sober, consent comes before. Negotiating while inebriated is not genuine consent. *Includes being free of social pressures or coercive situations.

Genuine Consent (Zine F-02, Friendship Series)

Consent is an important part of all relationships between two people. What makes it genuine?

linktr.ee/realtalkfurall

So What’s the Issue? We tend to forget that everyone is instantly relating, categorizing, and responding to everyone else based upon many influences out of our control. Often, we are being categorized and responded to in ways that have nothing to do with us at all.

Like most behaviors, validation-seeking exists on a spectrum. Interpersonal Difficulties > Antisocial > Sense of Entitlement

Like most behaviors, validation-seeking exists on a spectrum. Need to Impress Others < Compromising to 'Keep the Peace' < Ignoring Rights < Enduring abuse to avoid abandonment

We have all been socialized to devalue ourselves. Can you afford to allow anyone else’s perception of you shape how you feel about yourself? Strange Yet True: The more you validate yourself internally, the more external validation will come your way!

It feels good to be liked by others, but do I want it too much?

What is External Validation? External Validation is validation that comes from things outside of your control like jobs, friends, family, social media, and community members. *Internal Validation is confirming your beliefs, actions, and self-worth from within. It means living by your personal values and lets us accept our accomplishments and learn from our mistakes.

How Does It Start? Many people receive too little validation in childhood. This hampers emotional awareness and the ability to regulate emotions. Symptoms include: Difficulty Trusting Others High Levels of Anxiety Fear of Rejection Unpredictable Behaviors Over-apologizing, or feeling like you've done something wrong when you haven't.

Is External Validation Bad? External validation feels good, and is healthy in moderation! Validation from friends and loved ones gives us support and encouragement. It helps us celebrate our wins and fulfil our needs for community and socialization.

External Validation (Zine H-01, Happiness Series)

It feels good to be liked by others, but do I want it too much?

linktr.ee/realtalkfurall

How to Identify Cliques? Membership is decided by leaders’ opinion. Mean, even to others in the clique. Pressure to conform. Individuality and questions are not appreciated. Expects you not to talk to certain people to stay in the group. Insists you agree to their version of the truth.

What Should I Watch Out For? Your boundaries taken as a personal offense. Being told not to talk to other people, or not to confirm information given. Threats to revoke access or turn others against you. Threats to lie, share private information, or to hurt themselves or others

What Can I Do? Being friends with someone doesn’t mean you have to share the same opinions, values, and beliefs. Speak up, but be prepared to move on. Remember, cliques control others for their leaders to feel secure with themselves.

Ask Yourself: What do I believe in? What do I value? Am I proud of the way I and the group treat others? Does this group engage in gossip, drama, or ‘cancel culture’?

When friends aren’t acting like friends, how can you tell? What should you do?

What is Bullying? Bullying is when a person repeatedly and knowingly uses words or actions to cause distress to others. Often, a bully wants someone to feel powerless or helpless. A bully can be any gender, age, size, race, group, or identity. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or relational (attacking reputation and/or relationships.)

What is a Clique? Cliques are a form of relational and social bullying. A clique is a group that leaves people out on purpose. They promote judgmental and bullying behaviors. Cliques stifle criticism, disagreements, and thoughts that go against their leader(s). Cliques use access, influence, and/or peer pressure to enforce their beliefs.

Why are Cliques Formed? People lead cliques out of a desire for security, approval, and influence, which they attempt to gain by controlling others. People join cliques to find friends who are similar to them or have interests in common, and stay in them for a sense of belonging. Groups of friends can develop into cliques over time.

Cliques and Bullying (Zine F-01, Friendship Series)

When friends aren’t acting like friends, how can you tell? What should you do?

linktr.ee/realtalkfurall

4: Clarify Your Needs. Are you more aware of what may trigger you in the future? What do you need to feel supported or understood? Is there a specific request or clarification you would like to make to someone?

5: Communicating Understanding. Show Awareness and Ownership Factually Describe the Situation “I want to talk to something that happened earlier because I got triggered. When [specific thing] happened, I felt [specific emotion], because [explanation of trigger]...”

6: Requesting Assistance. Take Responsibility Express Your Needs Seek Collaboration. “...I know this is really about [past experience, personal sensitivity, current emotional state], but I wanted to share this with you. What would really help me in times like that is [specific request]. What do you think about that?”

Keep In Mind. A trigger is a reaction to past trauma. Recognizing when we’re upset, understanding why, and managing our emotional reactions is the way to overcome them.